What is the diagnosis of the level of conflict behavior of children before school age? This issue needs to be considered in more detail.

Probably everyone is familiar with this situation. We go to the kindergarten group. And we see the following picture: two children (usually boys, but sometimes girls) sit astride another child and rapturously beat him on the head with their fists. We are so used to this that we do not always immediately rush to separate young terrorists.

Indeed, in children of this age, conflicts happen all the time. However, so do adults. But an adult in such a situation still somehow tries to control himself, and most often he succeeds. It is quite another thing for a small child. His emotions directly spill over into behavior similar to the example in the previous paragraph.

If children's conflict does not lead to tragic results, it is only because the kids are still small and weak. And if they could, they would gladly kill each other. And then they were proud of it and boasted.

People with this behavior are familiar. Because infantile adults tend to behave in the same way, only they have the means of mass destruction of each other and use them with pleasure.

So it is very important to understand what is the reason for children's quarrels. If a person understands these factors, then he will be able to engage in the prevention of conflict behavior.

The word "diagnosis", as in medicine, means that it is necessary to understand the cause in each case. The level of conflict behavior is the intensity of the situation, its danger to the psychological health of the group and individual children, and sometimes to their physical health.

The phenomenon of polymotivation

Just because kids fight doesn't mean they're all equally bad and the same. This happens for completely different reasons.

It is necessary to turn again to a specific example. A man comes to a kindergarten group and sees two boys fighting each other. One plump, quiet kid who very rarely clashes. The other is constantly at war with someone. He is a provocateur and a bully. In addition, this boy is larger and stronger than everyone in the group and loves to fight for that reason.

They take apart the bully. They start to figure it out. It turns out that the provocateur said something nasty about the plump boy's mother, and he rushed to defend her honor.

What if adults punished both equally? They were both hitting each other. Hence, both are violators of the order. However, only one thing is worth punishing here: a provocateur. The second actually behaved quite commendably and like a man. He stood up for the honor of a lady, besides his own mother.

In this case, it is the motives of the children that are of interest. Why are they in conflict?

At the same time, there is the so-called “polymotivation phenomenon”, when the same behavior is motivated by several different motives.

It is easier to understand this, again, with a concrete example. A boy on the playground politely asks another child he does not know to let him play with a big, beautiful dump truck. He doesn't give. The petitioner immediately loses his politeness and rushes into battle.

Why did he do that? Perhaps, in, if the baby politely turned, be sure to give him what he asks for. It is common for children to transfer the norms of their mini-society to all people (although this is also typical for adults). The baby was indignant: how so! Politely asked, even “please” did not forget to say, but he does not give! Here is the greedy beef! Gotta teach him!

But this is one motive of our juvenile human rights activist. Another, simpler, is ordinary greed. The car is very good, big: you can load a lot of things into it. And he doesn't have one. So he decided to engage in the expropriation of someone else's property.

That is, there is one behavior, but there can be many motives. And it is desirable to identify all of them. Only then can you truly understand the child and make the right decision: to punish him or not, and also to take the necessary preventive measures to avoid subsequent similar conflicts.

handicapped children

There are only a few common causes of conflict in preschool children.

One of them is that the baby is not very happy. Either no one loves him, or there is a difficult, conflict situation in the family. May be, . Such a child feels flawed, deprived. And he takes revenge on other children (and sometimes adults) because he feels bad.

This is how animals behave. It is known that a tiger or a bear, wounded by a hunter, takes revenge not on this hunter, but on any person he meets along the way. They are supporters of the principle of collective responsibility. This is how children behave.

How can this happen?

V middle group Kindergarten there is a boy Ilyusha. He is pale, skinny, with big ears. It is not very similar to the aggressor: rather, the child causes pity. However, Ilyusha is a typical terrorist. He loves to arrange some kind of dirty trick to his neighbor. For example, when drawing is being taught in a group, pour dirty water with paint on a friend’s pants and pretend that it was by accident. Or, during modeling, put a piece of plasticine on the girl’s chair so that it sticks to the panties. Pour water on your pillow before nap time. Push off the stairs on the way to the walk.

Ilyusha rarely fights. Although he is physically weak, thin, he rarely conflicts, not because of this, but because all the children avoid him. They do not communicate with him, try to stay away from him. Only one boy, Maxim, sometimes plays with Ilyusha, and it is with him that our hero most often fights. But Maxim is much stronger.

If Ilyusha nevertheless enters into direct conflict with someone, he behaves differently from most other children. He tries to pinch, bite more painfully. He is very evil. He likes to inflict pain.

Ilyusha lives with her grandmother. Although she is good, the boy feels miserable. His dad left his mother and son, went somewhere. Mom remarried, and the boy was not needed in new family. He was sold to his grandmother. And he became like this.

It cannot be said that there are a lot of such children. But they are in most children's groups.

The correct behavior towards such a child is firmness and patience. The baby can recover only very gradually. He needs increased attention from adults, not only in control, but also in positive attention: understanding, affection. It is important to convince him that he is treated well, that he is not considered bad.

Being bad, oddly enough, is in a sense pleasant, because it is easy. Good child should be restrained, and the bad one should not. Since the psychologically unhappy baby is very weak, it is difficult for him to control himself, and he unconsciously chooses such a model of behavior: to provoke adults and other children to be recognized as bad by everyone. This gives him carte blanche to continue to behave in the same way: after all, he is bad, which means he has every right to such actions.

Therefore, it is important for adults not to succumb to children's provocation. If the kid manages to inspire that, in spite of everything, they treat him well, consider him smart and kind, he will gradually, but very slowly, begin to change.

Children with developmental delay

And here is another terrorist, Masha.

On a walk, the children now and then run up to the teacher with a roar. Every time it turns out that Masha acts as the offender. She is large, strong, older than many in the group.

The adults ask what happened. And Masha kicked! And Masha threw sand in her face! And Masha cursed! And Masha! And Masha! Teachers hear this phrase 20 times a day.

However, Masha lives with her mother and grandmother, and her mother is quite loving. But Masha is far behind in development. Although she is almost 6 years old, she still does not even speak properly! Can say one word, but does not use whole sentences. She has no control over her impulses. During the walk, she becomes excited like a puppy, and, returning to the group, she may begin to roll on the floor or dance, overturning chairs and even tables, or grab cubes from the rack and throw them at other children. It's almost impossible to take her down.

Masha's behavior resembles that of an animal. And not even domestic, but wild. Once, when the children had just finished dinner, the teacher was called to the headmaster, and only one nanny remained in the group (now this position is called "junior teacher"). She was busy cleaning and did not notice how Masha climbed onto a fairly high window sill behind her, leaned down and almost fell out of the window. Other children screamed, and the nanny barely had time to grab Masha by the leg. The group is on the third floor.

Another time, Masha, behind the back of the teacher, when the children came from a walk and needed help to undress and take off their shoes, climbed onto a chair, opened the lid and pressed the fire alarm button. She loves to go to the toilet, turn on the faucet at full power and spray water. Therefore, even if she really needs to go to the toilet, she is not allowed to go without adults.

This also requires a lot of patience. It is impossible to punish such a child: it will only get worse. You need to treat the baby like a wild animal that we want to domesticate: patiently and affectionately. Talk kindly, stroke more often, smile. You can't get mad at the little one.

As for the elimination of conflict, it is impossible without overcoming problems in development.

spoiled children

If in the first two examples problem children were considered, then in this case we will talk about an extremely prosperous child.

Vitalik lives in a complete family, his parents are wealthy people, and he is their only beloved child. At home, according to dad and mom, Vitalik behaves like an angel in the flesh. But in the kindergarten, for some reason, he reincarnates as the devil.

Vitalik, for example, does not tolerate when, during a lesson or in some other situation, the teacher first asks not him, but the other. He always wants to speak himself, and for everyone to listen to him, everyone to listen to him. That he does not know the answer to the question asked does not bother him. If the teacher “breaks the rule”, Vitalik becomes terribly indignant, sobs, rolls on the floor, throws a tantrum, or starts quarreling with his neighbors: he pushes them, beats, taking out his offense on them.

When children draw or sculpt, they should be at tables designed for two people. The children sit opposite each other. The tables are small, and it is not easy to place all the items necessary for work there: boxes with plasticine, paints, cups of water. Vitalik in this case acts simply: he pushes everything that does not belong to him onto the floor. Or even grabs and throws away: including a glass of water. Sometimes hitting someone in the head.

If Vitalik can't sleep during quiet hours, then the whole group won't sleep either. Because Vitalik is unable to understand that he needs to lie quietly so as not to wake other children, even if he personally does not want to sleep. He throws the blanket up, then covers himself with it, blows, whistles, farts under the covers, and laughs out loud himself. Then he throws the blanket over the child lying below (Vitalik's bed is on the second tier). Then he pulls the blanket off his neighbor and also throws it down. No remarks affect him: since he is having fun, then everyone should support him.

Vitalik is just a very spoiled child, accustomed to the non-resistance of his parents, to the fact that in his home world he is the King and God, and all the rest are his faithful servants. He transfers similar habits to the outside world, since he knows and cannot do anything else.

On the one hand, the child is not to blame for becoming like this, this is an omission of the parents. On the other hand, with such children, strictness is needed. True, it must be combined with endurance. It is also impossible to get angry, shout at the baby, because he himself perceives his behavior as quite normal and natural. However, he needs to be pulled up, punished, without trying to read notations and explain something. You can not turn a blind eye to his behavior, because in this case, adults will strengthen his belief that it is normal.

Such a child needs to be gradually disciplined. Toddlers have self-esteem: you can use it. Ask the baby to help adults. Usually children are flattered by such a role. When the child becomes a supporter of discipline, an assistant teacher, he himself ceases to disturb the order.

In this case, too, a lot of patience is required, combined with rigor, exactingness and endurance.

hyperactive children

Probably everyone remembers Maxim: Ilyusha's playmate? He is not an ordinary child either. He has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Although the word “active” is perceived positively, “hyperactivity” is not something good, it is not at all a high level of the first quality. This is a very unfortunate term. In fact, we are not talking about increased activity, or rather, not only and not so much about it, but about the complete absence of "brakes".

This is very often associated with organic causes, for example, with birth trauma. This is exactly the case with Max. Mom did C-section: the child was very large, and the birth was premature.

Max can't control himself at all. And he is a physically well developed, strong boy. He constantly pesters other children, but not in the same way as Ilyusha. He is kind, cheerful child, not a badass at all. He wants to play and talk. But he speaks as if he has porridge in his mouth: no one understands anything. If they do not answer him, Maxim is offended. He may cry, but he is able to work well with his fists. And this is what he does best.

Maxim's troubles are not only with other children. A dog, a German Shepherd Rex, lives in the same apartment with him. Rex is already an old dog, he is 9 years old. When he rests, he does not like to be disturbed. But Maxim does not consider this. One day the boy so pestered the poor dog that he bit the child. Maxim's shoulder had to be sewn up: he had 9 stitches. And no wonder: after all, Rex's weight is almost 80 kg!

If it's summer in the yard, and Maxim's group went for a walk, then an eye and an eye is needed for him. Once he managed to jump out of the gate (when someone entered them) and run away for 3 yards from the garden. Another time I climbed into a box of sand, but could not get back out: the lid turned out to be heavy. In the third, he climbed a tree and fell from there head first.

Hyperactivity is now considered a medical diagnosis, although it is recognized that treatment is impossible without certain pedagogical methods impact. However, ADHD is also treated with medication.

Such a child needs constant supervision. If possible, it is better for adults to keep the baby near them. You can’t punish him, you shouldn’t be angry with him either.

The conflict will go away only when he recovers.

Emotionally weak children

Misha is also a boy from a prosperous family. But he is also a conflicted child.

So one day the children were sitting on New Year's party and watched a concert program in which they themselves were busy. Adults were also present: mothers, fathers, grandmothers, employees of the kindergarten.

Misha was planted not quite well. He settled down in the fourth row, and in front of him sat some tall uncle: someone's dad. Misha twirled and twirled to see what was happening on the stage (it was not tall, and the mischievous uncle's broad back completely covered it). His mother was whispering remarks to him.

It ended up that in the most interesting place (when Santa Claus began taking gifts out of the bag and inviting those to whom they were intended to the stage), the boy could not stand it, stood with his feet on a chair (it is folding, like in a theater) and began to thrash with his fists and even kick nasty uncle on the head.

There was a scandal. Sobbing Misha, his mother carried him home in her arms.

Misha was sick a lot as a child. Although by nature he is a healthy boy. He just happened to catch a cold when he was a year old. And since then it has gone on like this: every winter - sore throats, SARS, and even pneumonia. The boy is physically weak and emotionally tired from constant illness. His mother is loving. But this is not enough. Misha is an active and proud person. And how to be active while lying in bed with a temperature?

It is emotional weakness that is the cause of his resentment and conflict.

It is clear that such a child should not be punished either. It is necessary to strengthen his emotional stability. Temper. When he becomes emotionally more stable and strong, he will cease to be a conflict.

The child is abused at home

Vitya is a small, fragile, physically weak boy. He is a coward: he is afraid of dogs and even cats when they wander into the territory of the kindergarten. He never climbs ladders, which other children love to do: he is afraid to fall.

However, with such cowardice, Vitya is also a conflict child. To some extent, he looks like Ilyusha, because he is a dirty trick. For example, he loves to spoil his friend's soup or porridge by throwing a napkin or some foreign object into it. Why they beat him, and he cries. Having cried, he begins to take revenge on the offender.

Once Vitya went out onto the landing, and another boy, from the older group, was running past. His shoes were not tied, the laces were dragging on the floor. At some point, this boy stepped on his shoelace and rolled down the stairs. Hurt painfully, crying. The adults fled.

And they saw an amazing picture: Vitya was standing next to the victim and laughing. And he is generally not a very cheerful child: he has never been seen so cheerful.

The reason for Viti's conflict is simple:. It's not that it's very hard and painful. But dad has such a method of education. He beats his son not out of anger, but because he thinks it is right. Dad's father also "taught", driving the mind into the back gate. And now he is raising his offspring in the same way, because he was convinced that such a method gives its positive results. Mishin's dad is the director of a large enterprise. So he is sure that he was brought up well, since he has achieved a lot in life.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to overcome the conflict of such a child as long as he lives in his family. Here you need to contact the juvenile justice authorities so that they influence the father. If the kid stops beating at home, he will no longer be in conflict.

Bully kids

There is a boy Vova in the same group: he is the largest and strongest of all children. He is from a quite prosperous family. Vova's father in his youth was a famous athlete, world wrestling champion. Now he works as a coach in a youth sports school. Vova's mother is loving. There is prosperity in the family. And Vova is the only child.

However, it is Vova who fights in the kindergarten most often. He's not evil though. Not touchy. He owns himself very well. Very healthy: never gets sick at all.

The fact is that Vova just really likes to fight. Recall that his father is a professional athlete. And he specializes in martial arts, that is, the same fights, only sports. My father doesn't think fighting is bad. And that's exactly what he says to his son. Not that he incites his son, but he does not forbid him to fight. Therefore, according to the boy, such behavior is normal and even good. In addition, he likes that he is the strongest in the group, that everyone is afraid of him.

Therefore, Vova became a Breter. He has become very adept at provoking other children into fights. It was he who challenged a small, chubby, intelligent boy to battle, insulting his mother. He usually starts to push, trips, knocks down when the teacher does not see this. He does it with a smile, without malice, non-aggressively. When the provoked one cannot stand it and rushes at the offender with his fists, he answers, so much so that he often has to take the beaten man to the first-aid post. Vova - worthy son his father: he knows how to beat well.

It is useless to exhort Vova, because. In this case, the cause of the conflict of the child is the mistakes in education made by the father. So here you need to work with an adult. If his position changes, so will the son.

If we talk about the boy himself, then in relation to him firmness and severity are needed. At the same time, he needs the role of protector of other children. If he perceives them as wards, he will stop offending and beating them.

Conclusions from what has been said

As you can see, the reasons for the conflict behavior of children are very diverse. It is necessary to carefully understand why the child behaves this way.

The level of conflict is higher in defective children, as well as those whose behavior is encouraged in the family. Sick children (physically weakened) behave in conflict only occasionally when they are hurt. Children with ADHD tend to be non-aggressive and their tendency to fight is also sporadic. Spoiled children also do not have a high level of conflict: as a rule, they quarrel only sometimes when others interfere with the realization of their desires.

In itself, conflict in one way or another is a natural quality for a growing, not yet mature person. As already noted, adults also quarrel, and even often. Single quarrels do not say anything about the level of conflict of the child. Only those who quarrel constantly, for whom this is characteristic, should cause concern.

Moreover, to some extent it is abnormal that the baby does not quarrel at all. No one can do without some kind of friction in relations with people. Kids learn to live, socialize. Oddly enough, this also includes the ability to behave in a conflict situation.

Of course, adults will not create conflict situations on purpose: for educational purposes. However, friction between children is not always so bad. As seen in the case of the boy defending his mother's honor, sometimes children are right to fight back against an offender.

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Introduction

Chapter 1. The problem of conflict behavior in preschool children in psychological and pedagogical research.

Chapter II. Experimental study of conflict behavior in children of senior preschool age.

2.1 Identification of the level of conflict behavior in children of older preschool age

2.2 Creating conditions for preventing conflict behavior of older preschoolers in kindergarten

2.3 Control slice

Conclusion

Literature

Introduction

The current socio-psychological situation that has developed in Russian society is characterized by a kind of personality crisis, which manifests itself as a crisis of its spirituality and morality. The formation of neoplasms involves many contradictions in people's lives, and without conflicting conflict situations, their resolution, it is impossible to develop a person, society as a whole. The presence of conflict gives the development of society and the individual an irreversible and directed character. This is noted in their works by N.V. Grishina, M.V. Ermolaeva, L.A. Petrovskaya and others. Predicting the outcome before resolving the conflict is possible only with a certain degree of probability, since the development of the situation in resolving contradictions is characterized by uncertainty.

Foreign psychological studies of conflicts are dominated by approaches based on psychoanalytic, existential, sociometric paradigms (3. Freud, A. Adler, K. Horney, E. Fromm, R. Leng, W. Frankl, W. McDougall, S. Siegel, K. Levin, J. Moreno, G. Bloomer, M. Cohn, T. Shibutani, etc.).

In domestic studies of conflicts, it should be noted that along with the accumulation of experimental material, the process of theoretical understanding of the problem of conflict is currently underway, part of which is the definition of the concept of conflict (A.Ya. Antsupov, A.A. Ershov, A.L. Zhuravlev, V.V. Boyko and others). Many studies are devoted to interpersonal conflicts (V.V. Grishina, A.S. Guseva, D.L. Moiseev, etc.). Among the first works, the theoretical and experimental studies of A.I. Zakharov collective relations of children of preschool and school age.

One of the main ideas advocated by L.S. Vygotsky, lies in the fact that the characteristics of a difficult child should be considered not in statics, as the sum of his "defects", but in dynamics. L.S. Vygotsky calls for shifting the center of gravity from the study of external manifestations to the content of psychological mechanisms, to move from considering one or another “defect” in behavior as an end in itself of research to changes that occur in the process of development and reveal themselves in these symptoms. In the studies of E.D. Belova, A.N. Belkina, V.P. Ivanova, T.N. Chastnaya and others, conducted with preschoolers, the emphasis is on the relationship "child - child". Research by E.A. Donchenko is devoted to the analysis of the essence of moral conflicts in line with age periodization. Highlighting conflicts like "me-me", "me-family", "me-group", the author considers the child's unsatisfied needs for recognition to be their cause. The most complete and consistent description of the conflict in Russian psychology belongs to I.A. Koch. He developed the problem of psychological conflict, analyzed the motivation of a person in a conflict situation, described socially typical relationships in conflicts and their influence in a conflict situation on the formation of character. The specificity of the conflicts under consideration has led to the need to clarify the very concept of internal conflict, primarily for the reason that there is still no differentiated approach to children's conflicts. Both in pedagogical and psychological literature the concepts of internal and external conflicts are not clearly distinguished.

Thus, in foreign and domestic psychological and pedagogical literature, conflict is considered as a state of personality arising from contradictions or clashes of various formations, which creates the necessary theoretical, methodological and methodological basis for studying the psychological and pedagogical features of conflicts in preschoolers and ways to resolve them.

The need for early diagnosis and prevention of conflict behavior in preschoolers is caused by the significant fact that in each group of any kindergarten there are children whose relationships with their peers are significantly distorted, and their very trouble in the group has a stable, long-term character.

G.M. Andreeva, L.S. Vygotsky, A.V. Zaporozhets, A.N. Leontiev, A.V. Morozov, D.B. Elkonin, P.M. Yakobson note that the prevention of conflict behavior in preschool children involves self-awareness by the child; development of personal mechanisms of behavior; the formation of primary ethical instances and, on their basis, a moral assessment; the emergence of new motives for actions and actions.

To the problem of conflict behavior in preschool age many domestic and foreign researchers applied: L.S. Vygotsky, D.B. Elkonin, A.V. Zaporozhets, Ya.L. Kolominsky and others. They believe that at preschool age, conflicts most often arise about the game, since it is the leading activity of preschoolers. In one of the studies of Ya.L. Kolominsky and B.P. Zhiznevsky identified typical causes of conflicts between children different ages. According to the data obtained, in children of older preschool age, conflicts most often arise due to the distribution of play roles, as well as the correctness of play actions.

According to D.B. Elkonin, children's conflicts arise about resources related to objects or interests, discipline (behavior), communication difficulties, values ​​and needs.

Thus, the relevance of the study is due to the importance of the problem of preventing conflict behavior in children of older preschool age.

The analysis of the studies allowed us to identify the contradiction between the need to prevent conflict behavior among older preschoolers in kindergarten and the insufficient development of the relevant conditions, as well as the lack of knowledge by educators of ways to prevent conflict behavior in older preschoolers.

Research problem: How can the prevention of conflict behavior in preschool age be effectively implemented?

Based on the foregoing, we have identified the object, subject and purpose of the study.

Object of study: the process of preventing conflict behavior in children of older preschool age;

Subject of study: psychological and pedagogical conditions that contribute to the prevention of conflict behavior in children of older preschool age.

The purpose of the study is to substantiate and test the psychological and pedagogical conditions for preventing conflict behavior in children of older preschool age;

Hypothesis: the process of preventing conflict behavior in children of older preschool age should be a regulated process, and among the conditions that increase the effectiveness of this process, we include:

Use in working with children of the complex interactive games aimed at building cohesion and cooperation, training effective ways communication, the formation of a claim to social recognition and the removal of conflict in children;

Playing with children in conflict situations and modeling a way out of them;

Use in work with children of psycho-gymnastic studies aimed at the formation of motives for positive behavior;

Teaching teachers the technique of active listening.

Research objectives:

1. To study and analyze the psychological and pedagogical literature on the problem of conflict behavior in preschool age.

2. To identify the level of conflict behavior in children of older preschool age.

3. Substantiate and test the psychological and pedagogical conditions for preventing conflict behavior in older preschoolers.

Methodological basis of the study:

Provisions on the high susceptibility of children to psychological and pedagogical influences L.S. Vygotsky, B.C. Mukhina, S.T. Jacobson; - the theory of the essence of the personality of K.A. Abulkhanov-Slavskoy, L.I. Bozhovich, A.N. Leontiev, S.L. Rubinstein;

Provisions on the development and complication of attitudes, on the basis of which the possibility of self-regulation of the behavior of A.V. Ermolina, E.P. Ilyina, Ya. Z. Neverovich;

Provisions on the essence of the conflict, the causes of its occurrence and ways of resolving A.A. Bodaleva, V.O. Ageeva, N.V. Grishina, N.I. Leonova, A.G. Zdravomyslova;

Conflict theories: psychoanalytic (Z. Freud, A. Adler, E. Fromm); sociotropic (W. McDougall, S. Sigle); behavioral (A. Bass, A. Bandura, R. Sears); sociometric (D. Moreno, G. Gurvich).

Research methods:

Study and analysis of psychological and pedagogical literature on the research problem.

Psychological and pedagogical experiment: ascertaining, forming and control stages;

sociometric method;

Method of monitoring the activities of children;

Quantitative and qualitative analysis of the obtained results.

The novelty of the study: we identified pedagogical path prevention of conflict behavior in children of senior preschool age through specially organized psychological and pedagogical conditions: the use of a complex of interactive games in working with children; playing out conflict situations and modeling a way out of them; the use of psycho-gymnastic studies and training of teachers in the technique of active listening;

The practical significance of the study lies in the possibility of organizing the justified by us pedagogical conditions preschool teachers and psychologists educational institutions when solving problems to prevent conflict behavior in children of older preschool age.

This thesis research consists of an introduction, two chapters, a conclusion, a list of references (58 sources).

Chapter 1. The problem of conflict behavior in preschool children in psychological and pedagogical research

1.1 The concept of conflict, its characteristics and causes in the studies of educators and psychologists

In psychological and pedagogical science, there are various definitions of conflict, but they all emphasize the presence of a contradiction, which takes the form of disagreements when it comes to the interaction of people.

Along with the accumulation of experimental material, the process of theoretical understanding of the problem of conflict is currently underway, part of which is the problem of defining the concept of conflict. The concept of conflict is often used in philosophical and psychological literature, and it is interpreted quite widely. In psychology, there is no generally accepted definition of conflicts, their classification. The very word conflict means clash. Question: "What exactly is colliding?" different authors solve it in completely different ways, depending, first of all, on the methodological orientation of the researcher. In this regard, there is a need to concretize the very concept of contradiction and determine the types of contradictions between people, including those that lead to conflicts.

Royak A.A. gives the following definition "conflict is a form of social interaction between two or more subjects (subjects can be represented by an individual / group / themselves - in the case of an internal conflict), arising from a mismatch of desires, interests, values ​​or perceptions" .

The conflict is defined as the lack of agreement between two or more parties, as a collision of oppositely directed, incompatible tendencies in the minds of individuals, in interpersonal or intergroup interactions, associated with negative emotional experiences.

In sociology, the following definition of conflict is given - a clash of opposing interests, goals, views, ideologies between individuals, social groups, classes.

In behaviorism, conflict is defined as the result of the action of stimuli that cause incompatible reactions of the organism. In psychoanalysis, a conflict is a contradiction between intellectual impulses and / or constituent elements of a personality, for example, between "It", "I", "Super-I". In a study devoted to the study of the semantic field of the concept of "conflict", a rather voluminous synonymous series attributed to it was revealed, including, for example, such words as "dispute", "discord", "battle", "quarrel", "argument", etc. . In everyday speech, the word "conflict" entered the scientific lexicon; it comes from the Latin conflictus - contradiction - and almost unchanged enters other languages ​​(conflict - English, konflikt - German, conflit - French). The concept of conflict acquired the status of a term relatively late: for example, in the well-known three-volume "Dictionary of Philosophy and Psychology" published at the beginning of the century, edited by J. Baldwin, only the concept of "conflict of laws" is given as an independent one. The concept of "conflict" does not belong to any one particular area - it is used by philosophy, sociology, psychology and other scientific disciplines. Any conflict, regardless of its nature, level of flow, specific variety, necessarily contains a contradiction. Contradiction is a category of dialectics, hence philosophy is interested in the phenomenon of conflict, understanding it as "the limiting case of aggravation of contradiction"

According to the forms of manifestation, conflicts take place in all areas of public life. I.E. Vorozheikin, A.Ya. Kibanov, D.K. Zakharov distinguish socio-economic, ethnic, international, political, ideological, religious, military, social and domestic. Conflicts are also distinguished by their significance for a group of people, as well as the way they are resolved. There are constructive and destructive conflicts. Constructive conflicts are characterized by disagreements that affect the fundamental aspects, the problems of people's life and the resolution of which brings the group to a new, higher and more effective level of development. Destructive conflicts lead to negative, often destructive actions.

The division of conflicts into types is rather arbitrary, there is no rigid boundary between them.

There is a huge variety of causes of conflicts, due to various situations of interaction between people. A.A. Bodalev argues that the conflict as a whole is caused by three groups of reasons due to:

The labor process

psychological characteristics of human relationships, that is, likes and dislikes, the actions of the leader;

· Personal originality of group members .

According to E. Meliburda, human behavior in a conflict situation depends on the following psychological factors:

· active perception of the conflict;

openness and efficiency of communication, readiness to discuss the problem;

ability to create an atmosphere of mutual trust and cooperation;

Adequate self-assessment of their capabilities;

The desire to dominate

conservatism of thinking, views;

principles and straightforwardness of statements;

a set of emotional qualities of a person.

The causes of conflicts are as diverse as the conflicts themselves. According to the sources and causes of conflicts are divided into objective and subjective. Objective factors include the natural clash of interests of people in the process of life. The main subjective reasons are the subjective assessment of the partner's behavior as unacceptable, low conflict resistance, poor development of empathy, etc. According to V.Ya. Zengenidze should distinguish between objective causes and their perception by individuals. Objective reasons can be relatively conditionally represented in the form of several fortified groups:

Limited resources to be distributed;

Difference in goals, values, methods of behavior, skill level, education;

Bad communications;

Interdependence of tasks, incorrect distribution of responsibility;

At the same time, objective reasons are only the causes of conflict when they make it impossible for an individual or a group to realize their needs, they affect personal or group interests.

Ya.A. Antsupov, A.I. Shepilov argue that the causes of conflicts are of an objective-subjective nature and can be combined into four groups: objective, organizational and managerial, socio-psychological, personal.

To the objective causes of conflicts A.Ya. Antsupov attributes the natural clash of interests of people in the course of their life. The typical socio-psychological causes of conflicts include the loss and distortion of information in the process of interpersonal communication, the imbalance of the role interaction of people.

The main personal causes of conflicts, according to A.I. Shipilov are: subjective assessment of the partner's behavior as unacceptable, low conflict resistance, poor development of empathy, inadequate level of claims.

Any conflict is based on a conflict situation - a hidden or open confrontation between two or more participants, including either conflicting positions of the parties on any occasion, or opposite goals or means of achieving them under given conditions, or a mismatch of interests, desires, and inclinations of opponents. A conflict situation, as a rule, arises in relationships and matures in practical activities; a more or less long period of latent or one-sided dissatisfaction contributes to its emergence. A conflict situation is created both objectively, outside the desire of people, due to the prevailing circumstances, and subjectively, due to the deliberate aspirations of the opposing sides. It can persist for a certain time (often in an open form) without leading to an incident and, consequently, without passing to an open conflict.

For a conflict to arise, an incident is necessary - these are practical conflict actions of the participants (parties) of the conflict situation, which are characterized by uncompromising actions and are aimed at the obligatory mastery of the object of heightened mutual interest. An incident usually occurs after a sharp aggravation of the contradiction or when one of the parties begins to infringe on the other and provokes a clash. If the opposite side begins to act, then the conflict from potential turns into actual. Conflict signals are: relationship crisis, communication tension, general discomfort.

There are a number of stages in the dynamics of the development of the conflict: the presupposing stage is associated with the emergence of conditions under which a clash of interests may arise. These conditions include: a) a long-term conflict-free state of the collective or group, when everyone considers themselves free, does not bear any responsibility to others, sooner or later there is a desire to look for the guilty; everyone considers himself the right side, offended unfairly, then it creates a conflict; conflict-free development is fraught with conflicts; b) constant overwork caused by overload, which leads to stress, nervousness, excitability, inadequate reaction to the most simple and harmless things; c) information-sensory hunger, lack of vital information, prolonged absence of bright, strong impressions; at the heart of all this lies the emotional oversaturation of everyday life. d) different abilities, opportunities, living conditions - all this leads to envy of a successful, capable person. e) style of organizing life and managing a team.

The stage of the origin of the conflict - a clash of interests various groups or individual people. It is possible in three main forms: a) a fundamental clash, when the satisfaction of some can definitely be realized only at the expense of infringing the interests of others; b) a clash of interests that affects only the form of relations between people, but does not seriously affect their material, spiritual and other needs; c) there is an idea of ​​a clash of interests, but this is an imaginary, apparent clash that does not affect the interests of people, members of the team.

The stage of maturation of the conflict - a clash of interests becomes inevitable. At this stage, the psychological attitude of the participants in the developing conflict is formed, i.e. an unconscious readiness to act in one way or another in order to remove the sources of an uncomfortable state. The state of psychological stress encourages an “attack” or “retreat” from the source of unpleasant experiences. Surrounding people can guess about the brewing conflict faster than its participants, they have more independent observations, more free from subjective judgments. The psychological atmosphere of the collective, group can also testify to the maturation of the conflict.

The stage of awareness of the conflict - the conflicting parties begin to realize, and not just feel the clash of interests. A number of options are possible here: a) both participants come to the conclusion that conflicting relations are inappropriate and are ready to give up mutual claims; b) one of the participants understands the inevitability of the conflict and, having weighed all the circumstances, is ready to give in; the other participant goes for further aggravation; considers the compliance of the other side as a weakness; c) both participants come to the conclusion that the contradictions are irreconcilable and begin to mobilize forces to resolve the conflict in their favor.

In pedagogical psychology, the concept of pedagogical conflict is distinguished - this is a conflict, the subjects of which are participants in the pedagogical process. The process of training and education, like any development, is impossible without contradictions and conflicts. Confrontation with children whose living conditions are not favorable today is common. integral part reality. According to M.M. Rybakova, among the conflicts between the teacher and the child, the following conflicts stand out:

activities arising from the progress of the child, the performance of extracurricular tasks;

Behavior (deeds) arising from violations of the rules of conduct in kindergarten and outside it;

Relationships that arise in the sphere of emotional and personal relations between children and teachers.

Thus, having studied the concept of conflict, the reasons for its occurrence, we can conclude that conflict is a form of social interaction between two or more subjects that occurs due to a mismatch of desires, interests, values ​​or perceptions. The main personal causes of conflicts are: subjective assessment of the partner's behavior as unacceptable, low conflict resistance, poor development of empathy, inadequate level of claims. Conflicts can be psychological and pedagogical. Conflicts are also distinguished by their significance for a group of people, as well as the way they are resolved. There are constructive and destructive conflicts.

1.2 Children's conflicts and their logical-structural analysis

The preschool period of childhood is sensitive for the formation in the child of the foundations of collectivist qualities, as well as a humane attitude towards other people. If the foundations of these qualities are not formed at preschool age, then the whole personality of the child may become flawed, and subsequently it will be extremely difficult to fill this gap.

J. Piaget attributes little child egocentrism, as a result of which he still cannot build joint activities with peers (therefore, Piaget believes that the society of children arises only in adolescence).

In contrast, A.P. Usova, and after her, many domestic psychologists and teachers believe that the first children's society is formed in kindergarten.

L.V. Vygotsky, namely his ideas about the development of higher mental functions, which he considered precisely in terms of personality formation. According to the scientist, cultural forms of behavior are precisely the reactions of the individual. Studying them, we are not dealing with individual processes, but with the personality as a whole. Tracing the cultural development of mental functions, we trace the path of development of the child's personality

The structure of the conflict in children is described in different ways, but some elements are accepted by everyone. This is a problem (contradiction), a conflict situation, the participants in the conflict and their position, an object, an incident (a reason for clarifying relations, a trigger), a conflict (the beginning of an active process, development, resolution).

The object of the conflict is a specific material or spiritual and moral value, the possession or upholding of which the conflicting parties seek.

The subjects of the conflict are children, with their own needs, interests, motives and ideas about values.

But at preschool age, against the background of a favorable environment for upbringing in kindergarten, conditions can be created when the influence of the environment becomes “pathogenic” for the development of the individual, since it infringes on it, that is, conflict situations may arise.

The conflict situation is the starting position, the basis of the conflict, created by the accumulation and exacerbation of contradictions in the system of social ties, interpersonal interaction and group relations. The structure of such a situation is formed by different elements, including the parties (participants), the subjects of the conflict and the subject (object) of the confrontation, the conflicting interests, intentions and goals of the opponents. A conflict situation is created both objectively, outside the desire of people, due to the prevailing circumstances, and subjectively, due to the deliberate aspirations of the opposing sides. It can persist for a certain time (often in an open form), without leading to an incident and, therefore, without moving to an open conflict.

At preschool age, conflict situations play important role, as well as in the formation of the personality as a whole, and in the moral and ethical development and in the formation of the value orientations of preschoolers. Experiences that arise in a conflict situation, associated with the need to make a choice and conditioned, first of all, by the emotional assessment of a significant adult, at the initial stage of development of value orientations, contribute to fixing the rules of behavior behind which personal value is hidden. First, an emotional attitude to values ​​arises on the basis of contact with the values ​​of a significant other, then in a situation of choice, they take the form of significant motives, then motives that form meaning and actually act.

Children's conflicts can arise over resources related to objects, interests, communication difficulties (relationships), values ​​and needs (physical or psychological).

Factors that exacerbate the course of conflict in preschool age are:

· increase and external manifestation of intensity of passions (anger, fear, anxiety, disappointment);

A manifestation of indifference on the part of an adult to the conflict that has arisen;

Lack of attempts to establish and maintain relationships;

Escalation, replication of the conflict situation, increase in the number of children, participants in the conflict;

the involvement of parents;

Factors leading to a weakening of the conflict:

leaving to the neutral side;

conversation, explanation, but not demonstration;

Reducing the feeling of threat, the availability and use of communication skills for conflict resolution;

maintaining and strengthening interpersonal relationships;

In psychology, there is the concept of "conflict behavior" - these are the actions and deeds of a person in a conflict situation, that is, in fact, these are ways of responding to a person in a conflict situation. At preschool age, there is a problem of conflict behavior in the aspect of preventing its formation in children. In connection with this concept, the concept of "conflict relations" is also considered - these are ways of organizing interaction with other people, peers, adults, colored with negative, affective emotional background Conflict behavior, trouble, emotional discomfort of the child among peers negatively affects the formation of the child's personality. Children come to kindergarten with different emotional attitudes, heterogeneous claims, and at the same time with different skills and abilities. As a result, each in his own way meets the requirements of the educator and peers and creates an attitude towards himself. E.D. Belova, A.N. Belkin, V.P. Ivanova and others. In their works, the emphasis is on the prevention of conflict behavior and conflict relations in the "child - child" system.

In turn, the requirements and needs of others find a different response from the child himself, the environment turns out to be different for children, and in some cases - extremely unfavorable. A child's trouble in the preschool group can manifest itself ambiguously: as uncommunicative or aggressively sociable behavior. But regardless of the specifics, children's trouble is a very serious phenomenon, behind it, as a rule, lies a deep conflict in relationships with peers, as a result of which the child remains alone among children.

Changes in the child's behavior are secondary neoplasms, distant consequences of the root causes of the conflict. The fact is that the conflict itself and the negative traits that arise as a result of it long time hidden from observation. That is why the source of the conflict, its root cause, as a rule, is missed by the educator, and pedagogical correction is no longer effective.

External conflicts arise in the sphere of business relations of children, however, as a rule, they do not go beyond it and do not capture deeper layers of interpersonal relations. Therefore, they are of a transient, situational nature and are usually resolved by the children themselves by establishing the norm of justice on their own.

External conflicts are useful, as they give the child the right to responsibility, to a creative solution to a difficult, problematic situation and act as a regulator of fair, full-fledged relations between children. Modeling of such conflict situations in the pedagogical process can be considered as one of the effective means moral education.

Each child occupies a certain position in the peer group, which is expressed in the way his peers treat him. The degree of popularity that a child enjoys depends on many factors: his knowledge, mental development, behavioral characteristics, the ability to establish contacts with other children, appearance, etc.

Many domestic and foreign researchers addressed the problem of children's troubles, deviant forms of behavior at preschool age. V.Ya. Zedgenidze gave a classification of social interaction and relationships of children and pointed out the existence of difficulties in them. G. Monina, one of the methodologists of studies of "difficult" childhood, was specially involved in preschool children. Emphasizing that the personality is formed in the team, he argued that its development and education is a matter of organizing relationships with the team.

A particularly bright page in the history of the study of the problem was written by L.S. Vygotsky. He noted that under the same conditions, different features of the psyche can be formed, since a person gives specific, individual reactions to certain environmental influences. Specific reactions to the same type of environmental influences will depend primarily on the relationship in which the child himself is with the environment.

Environmental influences, wrote L.S. Vygotsky, they themselves change depending on which previously emerged mental properties of the child they are refracted.

Interest in the study of children's problems is reflected in the work of A.I. Anzharova. Along with issues of friendship and camaraderie, she studied some of the difficulties in children's relationships, and first of all, the phenomenon of children's isolation, which, according to A.I. Anzharova, there are deep violations of the communication process. Subject of research A.A. Royak is childish unpopularity. The author connects the need for its correction with the importance for the development of the child of the need for recognition, which is frustrated in conditions of unpopularity.

Before proceeding to a more detailed study of conflict behavior in preschoolers (violation of relationships with peers), it is necessary to consider the general structure of interpersonal processes. Many authors (A.A. Bodalev, Ya.L. Kolominsky, B.F. Lomov, B.D. Parygin) naturally distinguish three components and interrelated components in the structure of interpersonal processes:

behavioral (practical)

emotional (affective)

informational or cognitive (gnostic).

If the behavioral component can be attributed to interaction in joint activities, and communication, and the behavior of a group member addressed to another, and to the gnostic component - group perception, which contributes to the subject's awareness of the qualities of another, then interpersonal relations will be affective, emotional component structures of interpersonal processes.

In the system of concepts adopted in this work, when defining communication, we will proceed from the position of M.I. Lisina that communication is always subject-subject relations, which means that the content and integral side of communication and its product are relationships, it is communication that determines the selectivity of relations.

Thus, communication is a communicative activity, a process of specific face-to-face contact, which can be directed not only to effective solution tasks of joint activity, but also on the establishment of personal relationships and knowledge of another person.

Interpersonal relationships (relationships) are a diverse and relatively stable system of selective, conscious and emotionally experienced connections between members of the contact group. Despite the fact that interpersonal relations are actualized in communication and for the most part in the actions of people, the very reality of their existence is much wider. Figuratively speaking, interpersonal relationships can be likened to an iceberg, in which only its surface part appears in the behavioral aspects of the personality, and the other, underwater part, larger than the surface, remains hidden.

Consideration of the phenomenon of children's relations, against which the conflict unfolds, allows us to proceed to its description and analysis. Interpersonal relationships of preschoolers are very complex, contradictory, and often difficult to interpret. They do not lie on the surface (like role-playing and business ones) and only partially manifest themselves in the communication and behavior of children, requiring special methods for detection.

Born, mediated by the game, interpersonal relations, however, can exist independently of it, as well as from any other children's activity, in which they differ significantly from role-playing and business, completely "drowned" in the game. At the same time, they are closely intertwined and, being very emotional in preschoolers, they often "break into the game." Due to the special emotional richness, interpersonal relationships are much more "attached" to the child's personality than others and can be very selective and stable.

A relatively stable business plan of relations in the game can coexist with a deep conflict in the interpersonal relations of children, which indicates a possible discrepancy between these plans, the need for their differentiation.

In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic picture of the interpersonal relationships of children unfolds. Preschoolers make friends, quarrel, make up, get offended, jealous. All these relationships are acutely experienced by the participants and carry a lot of different emotions. Emotional tension and conflict in the sphere of children's relations is much higher than in the sphere of communication with an adult. Adults are sometimes unaware of the wide range of feelings and relationships that children experience, do not attach much importance to children's quarrels and insults. Meanwhile, the experience of the first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child's personality is built. This first experience largely determines the nature of a person's relationship to himself, to others, to the world as a whole. Determine the appearance of violations emotional sphere possible by the following signs:

Violation of any sphere of the personality, the psyche of the child always has a negative impact on other spheres, as a result of which they degrade or slow down their development.

Violation - manifested in behavior, it can be identified by observation: difficult education, disobedience, aggression, capriciousness, stubbornness, which do not manifest themselves in critical age periods.

· Mental disorders lead to social maladjustment: to a narrowing of the circle of people with whom the child can normally interact.

· Mental disorders are a barrier to educational influences. The task of eliminating violations is primary, in relation to the actual upbringing.

· Disorders of the psyche and personality often lead to psychosomatic illnesses.

Emotional distress associated with communication difficulties can lead to different types conflict behavior.

Unbalanced, impulsive behavior, characteristic of quickly excitable children. In the event of conflicts with peers, the emotions of these children are manifested in outbursts of anger, loud crying, and desperate resentment. Negative emotions of children in this case can be caused by both serious reasons and the most insignificant ones. Their emotional incontinence and impulsiveness lead to the destruction of the game, to conflicts and fights. Hot temper is more an expression of helplessness, despair than aggression. However, these manifestations are situational, ideas about other children remain positive and do not interfere with communication.

Increased aggressiveness of children, acting as a stable personality trait. Studies and long-term studies show that the aggressiveness that developed in childhood remains stable and persists throughout a person's later life. Anger develops into violation with the constant, aggressive behavior of the parents, which the child imitates; the manifestation of dislike for the baby, which is why hostility to the world around is formed; prolonged and frequent negative emotions.

Among the reasons that provoke aggressiveness in children, the following stand out:

attracting the attention of peers;

infringement of the merits of another in order to emphasize one's superiority;

protection and revenge;

desire to be in charge

The need to master the desired subject.

Manifestations of a pronounced tendency to aggressiveness:

high frequency of aggressive actions - within an hour of observation, such children demonstrate at least four acts aimed at causing harm to their peers;

Predominance of direct physical aggression;

The presence of hostile aggressive actions aimed not at achieving any goal, but at the physical pain or suffering of peers.

Among psychological features that provoke aggressive behavior, usually distinguish insufficient development of intelligence and communication skills, a reduced level of arbitrariness, underdevelopment gaming activity, low self-esteem. But the main distinguishing feature of aggressive children is their attitude towards their peers. Another child acts for them as an adversary, as a competitor, as an obstacle that must be eliminated. An aggressive child has a preconceived notion that the actions of others are driven by hostility, he attributes negative intentions and neglect to others to others. All aggressive children have one thing in common - inattention to other children, inability to see and understand their feelings.

Resentment is a persistent negative attitude towards communication. Resentment manifests itself in those cases when the child is acutely experiencing the infringement of his "I". These situations include the following:

ignoring the partner, insufficient attention on his part;

Denial of something necessary and desired;

disrespectful attitude from others;

success and superiority of others, lack of praise.

A characteristic feature of touchy children is a bright setting for an evaluative attitude towards themselves and a constant expectation of a positive assessment, the absence of which is perceived as a denial of oneself. All this brings acute painful experiences to the child and interferes with the normal development of the personality. Therefore, increased resentment can be considered as one of the conflict forms of interpersonal relationships. Demonstrativeness is a stable personality trait. This behavior of children is expressed in the desire to attract attention to themselves by any possible ways. Relationships are not a goal, but a means of self-affirmation. Ideas about their own qualities and abilities of demonstrative children need constant reinforcement through comparison with others. The insatiable need for praise, for superiority over others becomes the main motive for all actions and deeds. Such a child is constantly afraid of being worse than others, which gives rise to anxiety, self-doubt. Therefore, it is important to identify the manifestation of demonstrativeness in time and help the child to overcome it. The essence of these psychological problems is determined by the child's fixation on his qualities (on self-assessment), he constantly thinks about how others evaluate him, acutely affectively experiences their attitude. This assessment becomes the main content of his life, closing the entire the world and other people. Self-affirmation, demonstration of one's own merits or concealment of one's shortcomings becomes the leading motive of his behavior. Children with a harmonious, conflict-free attitude towards peers never remain indifferent to the actions of their peers. It is they who are most popular in the children's group, as they can help, yield, listen, support someone else's initiative. Conflict-free children do not make the defense, assertion and evaluation of their "I" a special and only life task, which provides them with emotional well-being and recognition of others. The absence of these qualities, on the contrary, makes the child rejected and deprives peers of sympathy.

Thus, two types of psychological conflicts in preschoolers who experience difficulties in communicating with peers should be considered: conflict in operations and conflict in motives. External obvious conflicts among preschoolers are generated by contradictions that arise when they organize joint activities or in the process of it.

1.3 Features of the manifestation of conflict behavior in children of older preschool age

At preschool age, the leading activity is a role-playing game, and communication becomes its part and condition. From the point of view of D.B. Elkonin, "the game is social in its content, in its nature, in its origin, that is, it arises from the conditions of the child's life in society." since it is here that the learned norms and rules of behavior are formed and actually manifested, which form the basis of the moral development of a preschooler, form the ability to communicate in a peer group.

A conflict situation develops into a conflict only with the joint actions of the child and peers. A similar situation arises in cases where there is a contradiction: between the requirements of peers and the objective possibilities of the child in the game (the latter are below the requirements) or between the leading needs of the child and peers. In both cases, we are talking about the lack of formation of the leading play activity of preschoolers, which contributes to the development of a psychological conflict.

The reasons may be the child’s lack of initiative in establishing contacts with peers, the lack of emotional aspirations between the players, when, for example, the desire to command prompts the child to leave the game with his beloved friend and join the game with a less pleasant but pliable peer, lack of communication skills. As a result of such interactions, two types of contradictions can arise: a mismatch between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in the game and a mismatch in the motives for the game of the child and peers.

Antsupov A.Ya. identifies seven main causes of conflict in the game:

1. "Destruction of the game" - this includes such actions of children that interrupt or impede the process of play - for example, the destruction of play buildings, play environment, as well as an imaginary play situation.

2. “About the choice of the general theme of the game” - in these cases, the dispute arises because of what kind of joint game the children are going to play.

3. “About the composition of the participants in the game” - here the question is decided who exactly will play this game, that is, who will be included in the game and who will be excluded.

4. "Because of the roles" - these conflicts arise mainly due to disagreements between children about who will perform the most attractive or, conversely, the least attractive role.

5. "Because of toys" - disputes due to the possession of toys, game items and attributes are included here.

6. “About the plot of the game” - in these cases, the children argue about how the game should go, what game situations, characters will be in it, and what will be the actions of certain characters.

7. “About the correctness of game actions” - these are disputes about whether this or that child acts correctly or incorrectly in the game.

The empirical data obtained confirm the described by D.B. Elkonin dynamics: in younger children, conflicts most often arise because of toys, in middle-aged children - because of roles, and at an older age - because of the rules of the game.

Thus, the causes of collisions between children reflect their age development, when they gradually move from quarrels over toys to real discussions about how correctly this or that child acts during the game.

During preschool age, the motivation for the game changes, which significantly affects the content of the child's need for a peer, and interest in a peer as a carrier of human, personal qualities arises in a child only towards the end of preschool age.

As for younger preschoolers, then the need for a peer, to unite with him, acts as a need for him, as a partner in the game. This is precisely the stage in the development of this need, when a child needs a peer for purely practical, non-communicative purposes - to satisfy an acute desire to act and behave like adults. By this period (4 years), mastery of the operations of the game becomes the main, defining requirement for a peer.

The role of playing skills is so significant that children often prefer a rude, selfish, but "interestingly playing" child to a kind, sympathetic, but unattractive in the game. This does not mean that younger preschoolers are not yet able to assess the personal qualities of partners.

At this age, most children can quite objectively characterize their comrades in terms of such qualities that are important for joint cooperation, such as kindness, accommodating, etc.

And, nevertheless, a peer, as noted in the studies of A.A. A royak is necessary for a child during this period, primarily from the side of his playing qualities: the game at this stage acquires a special personal meaning. Peers are especially active in avoiding contact with a child whose insufficiently developed gaming skills are combined with ignorance of positive ways of cooperation, since he constantly interferes in games, interferes with their conduct, and involuntarily destroys buildings created by children.

The child is also no less actively rejected by peers with inadequate mastery of the ways of cooperation, which are found, on the one hand, in overly mobile children who do not know how to control their behavior, although they have playing skills and positive ways of cooperation. On the other hand, these are slow children who do not know how to develop the dynamism of actions necessary in play, as a result of which their peers literally run away from them, despite the ability of such children to play and a benevolent attitude towards partners.

Deprived of the opportunity to fully participate in games, such children cannot satisfy their own acute need for joint play, which ultimately leads to a deep psychological conflict with their peers.

Giving rise to a conflict situation between the child and peers, the lack of formation of play skills is found in the play interaction of children and leads to a mismatch (contradiction) between the requirements of partners and the objective possibilities of the child in the game. However, as observations show, failure in the game, the impossibility of becoming its full-fledged participant for a long time, does not reduce the effective, active nature of the need itself.

From the second half of the middle preschool age, children's complaints begin to arise that they "do not take to play," which reflect the infringement of a child's essential need. This is the first symptom of awareness of one's own troubles, the impossibility of becoming a full participant in the game. It is during this period that there are cases of refusal to attend kindergarten, accompanied by a noticeable decrease in activity in making contacts, a gradual departure from peers, and a decrease in mood.

Awareness of trouble in the game, in such an important “case” for a preschooler, causes him deep feelings, which become especially acute due to the high emotionality of this age, the desire to gain recognition and approval of his merits. And not having received it, the child in every possible way seeks to protect himself from an acutely conflicting traumatic situation, more and more withdrawing into himself, gradually moving away from his peers.

However, their attitude towards them remains friendly. Understanding one's own failure in the game for a long time does not change the child's personal attitude towards children.

Distortion of attitudes towards peers appears much later, towards the end of the middle preschool age and indicates the emergence of a new stage in the development of the conflict.

As A.N. Leontiev, the child himself cannot get out of an acutely dysfunctional situation, his experiences are more and more generalized, deepened and aggravated. As a result, the actions of peers acquire a negative connotation in his eyes, seeming more and more unfair, and cause a tense affective state in the child, which finds a way out in open emotional protest, in negative behavioral reactions (increased touchiness, stubbornness, distrust, rudeness, anger, up to elements of aggression), which indicates a qualitative change in the attitude towards children and the whole direction of his behavior.

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How to deal with a conflicted child

Do not raise children, they will still look like you. educate yourself.
(English proverb)

Does your child often quarrel with classmates? Receives behavioral comments?

How to deal with a conflicted child?
You know that a child is like music, in the creation of which everyone takes part, like the musicians of one orchestra.

And this means, look for the reason, first of all, in yourself.
We make up, we quarrel as soon as it doesn't happen.
Conflicts are born and move in a circle.
That something is not clear to us, then we are not understood.

How important and useful it is to simply listen to each other.
How often do you sort things out with each other in a raised voice, and even in the presence of a child?
Quarrel?
Are you using swear words? If a conflict situation often occurs in your family, then the child simply imitates you. Therefore, try to change your behavior first ...

Let's just learn to speak.
Among problems and theorems, we learn to communicate.
Try to be polite, try to be friendly!
Then hurtful words will not be repeated.

Perhaps conflict may manifest itself due to selfishness. Especially often this situation manifests itself in families with an only child.
In this case, the child simply gets used to the fact that all his desires are fulfilled, so he is not ready to give in. He expects that his peers will also fulfill only his desires.
The problem of conflict should be resolved immediately, otherwise such a shortcoming can subsequently complicate life.

So what do you do if you have a conflicted child?

They say that truth is born in a dispute.
Not always, if it is the disputes of the parents.
Are winners born in a quarrel?
Never! There are no such winners.

Try to keep the child from a quarrel in time. Under what situation the child can “explode”, you most likely already know;
- try not to condemn the problem behavior of the child in a harsh manner, so as not to make him feel the inevitability of conflicts;
- in a conflict between children, objectively evaluate and figure out who is right and who is wrong. Often parents defend their child by blaming someone else. It is not right! Cultivate Justice! Be sure to discuss with your child calmly what caused the quarrel. Was it worth it to spoil the mood of others, quarrel with a friend, upset your mother?

You just need to calmly figure everything out,
find a compromise for any relationship.
There are no hopeless situations.
Do not find LAZY right solutions.

Determine the reasons:

Perhaps conflict is a consequence of the child's selfishness. If at home he is the center of attention, and his slightest desire is fulfilled, then the child expects the same attitude towards himself and from other children. But, not getting what he wants, he begins to achieve his goal, provoking conflicts.
Perhaps the child is “abandoned”, he lacks care and attention in the family, he feels resentment and anger and takes out the feelings accumulated in his soul in quarrels.
Perhaps the child often witnesses quarrels between parents or other family members and simply begins to imitate their behavior.
The conflict behavior of the child is a signal that something is wrong with you, dear parents. So be prepared to change your behavior.

What you should pay attention to:

1. Perhaps conflict is a consequence of the child's selfishness. If at home he is the center of attention, and his slightest desire is fulfilled, then the child expects the same attitude towards himself and from other children. But, not getting what he wants, he begins to achieve his goal, provoking conflicts.

2. Perhaps the child is “abandoned”, he lacks care and attention in the family, he feels resentment and anger and takes out the feelings accumulated in his soul in quarrels.

3. Perhaps the child often witnesses quarrels between parents or other family members and simply begins to imitate their behavior.

6 useful tips About how to deal with a conflicted child:

1. Restrain the child's desire to provoke quarrels with others. 2. Pay attention to unfriendly looks at each other or mumbling something with resentment.
3. Do not seek to end the quarrel by blaming another child for its occurrence and defending your own;
4. After a quarrel, discuss with the child the reasons for its occurrence, identify the wrong actions of the child; try to find ways out of the conflict situation. 5. Do not discuss with the child the problems of his behavior with others: he may establish himself in the idea that conflicts are inevitable, and will continue to provoke them.
6. It is not always necessary to intervene in children's quarrels: only if during quarrels one always wins, and the other acts as a “victim”, their contact should be interrupted. To prevent the formation of timidity in the vanquished.

DO YOU HAVE AN AGGRESSIVE CHILD?

How to manage anger

1. The behavior of aggressive children is often destructive, which causes certain difficulties for parents.
2. Aggressive children sometimes show aggression only because they do not know other ways to express their feelings.
3. The task of an adult is to teach them how to get out of conflict situations in an acceptable way.
4. Any psychological work with children will not be successful without the support of parents.
5. The best guarantee of good self-control and adequate behavior in children is the ability of parents to control themselves. 6. Conflict behavior of a child is a signal that something is wrong with you, dear parents. So be prepared to change your behavior.

Determine the reasons:

Sometimes a child's aggression is part of a protest against the excessive demands of adults. This is found in families where the parents are overzealous in regards to any action they deem necessary.
Aggressive reactions may appear in response to the non-fulfillment of the child's desires. Not all the various "wants" of a child can be fulfilled without unpleasant consequences for the child and adults, so the child's demands must be limited. In such situations, you can try to transfer the child's activity in a different direction, this will help to avoid conflict.
Aggression may be the result of experiences associated with resentment, infringed pride.

How to deal with an aggressive child:

Eternal theme: Teacher and Student.
How to build a relationship with them?
And not to go into an unexpected dead end
on the road with oncoming traffic.

To study alone - RESPECT,
and restrained in his behavior.
So that the other is not tired UNDERSTAND
this new generation...

Remember that banning and raising your voice are the most ineffective ways to overcome aggressiveness; only by identifying the causes of aggressive behavior and removing them, you can hope that your child's aggressive behavior will be overcome.
Give the child the opportunity to throw out his aggression, shift it to other objects: let him beat the pillow and you will see that in real life at the moment the aggressiveness has decreased.
Show your child a personal example of effective behavior, do not allow outbursts of anger or unflattering remarks about your friends or colleagues in front of him, making plans for "revenge".
Let your child feel at every moment that you love him, appreciate and accept him, do not hesitate to caress him or feel sorry for him once again.
Remember that managing the complex world of emotions is sometimes difficult even for an adult. Do not demand excessive self-control from the child and be patient.
I think it's not a secret for anyone that a conflict child causes a lot of problems to his parents! Coping with problems is difficult even for very patient mothers and fathers who cannot understand their conflicted child. First of all, it is necessary to identify the cause of its conflict.
Perhaps your child in the family is the center of the universe. And therefore, it requires from outside adults and their peers the same attitude towards their person. And not having received this, he begins to conflict. Or, on the contrary, he lacks attention in the family.
Maybe your child is not properly cared for for a number of different reasons and circumstances. He will live like this with a constant sense of resentment and accumulated anger. Or perhaps the child lives in a family where he is a frequent observer of family conflicts of his parents.

How difficult, sometimes, communication is given,
Everyone has the right to personal strangeness.
And, if, as usual, opinions diverge, -
should go on stage TOLERANCE.

It complements the understanding
leads to the expansion of the boundaries of visibility.
Soul warmth fills the mind.
We just sometimes lack tolerance.

12 "If" for you, parents and caregivers

1 . If a child is constantly criticized, he learns to hate.
2. If a child lives in enmity, he learns aggressiveness.
3. If the child is ridiculed, he becomes withdrawn.
4. If a child grows up in reproach, he learns to live with guilt.
5. If a child grows up in tolerance, he learns to accept others.
6. If a child is encouraged, he learns to believe in himself.
7. If a child is praised, he learns to be grateful.
8. If a child grows up in honesty, he learns to be fair.
9. If a child lives in safety, he learns to trust in people.
10. If a child is supported, he learns to value himself.
11. If a child lives in understanding and friendliness, he learns to find love in this world.
12. If he lives and is brought up in love, a worthy and loving person will grow out of him.

Observing students in grades 5-6, talking with teachers and parents, we can conclude that big number emotionally unstable, anxious students.
Perhaps this is due to the instability and dangers of modern life. No matter how hard adults try to protect children from traumatic information, a general anxiety is transmitted to them.
But along with the obvious and understandable causes of anxiety, there are also hidden ones that are not obvious to parents and teachers. It is with them that the school psychologist most often has to deal.
bad events, difficult situations are inevitable in the life of every person, but children encounter them more often than adults, since “what an adult seems familiar and natural can cause anxiety, anxiety and fear in a child” (Nikolskaya I.M.).
Daily overcoming of difficulties, on the one hand, allows the child to accumulate invaluable life experience, but on the other hand, it injures him if decision leads to confusion and conflict.

At preschool age (from 3 to 6-7 years old), interpersonal relationships of children are quite hard way age development, in which three main stages can be distinguished.

For younger preschoolers, the most characteristic is an indifferent-friendly attitude towards another child. Three-year-old children are indifferent to the actions of their peers and to his assessment by an adult. At the same time, they tend to easily solve problem situations in favor of others: they give way to the game, give away their items, however, their gifts are more often addressed to adults, parents or educators than to peers). All this may indicate that the peer does not yet play a significant role in the life of the child. The kid, as it were, does not notice the actions and states of a peer.

At the same time, its presence increases the overall emotionality and activity of the child. This is evidenced by the desire of children for emotional and practical interaction, imitation of the movements of their peers. The ease with which three-year-olds become infected with common emotional states with a peer may indicate a special commonality with him, which is expressed in the discovery of the same properties, things or actions. The child, “looking at a peer”, as it were, objectifies himself and singles out specific properties in himself. But this generality has a purely external, procedural and situational character.

A decisive turning point in relation to peers occurs in the middle of preschool age. At the age of 4-5, the picture of the interaction of children changes significantly. In the middle group, the emotional involvement in the actions of another child sharply increases. During the game, children closely and jealously observe the actions of their peers and evaluate them. Children's reactions to an adult's assessment also become more acute and emotional. The successes of peers can cause grief for children, and their failures cause undisguised joy. At this age, the number of children's conflicts increases significantly, such phenomena as envy, jealousy, and resentment towards a peer arise.

All this gives rise to numerous conflicts of children and such phenomena as boasting, demonstrativeness, competitiveness, etc. However, these phenomena can be considered as age features five-year plan. By the older preschool age, the attitude towards peers again changes significantly.

By the age of 6, the number of prosocial actions significantly increases, as well as emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of a peer. In most cases, older preschoolers carefully observe the actions of their peers and are emotionally involved in them. Even contrary to the rules of the game, they seek to help him, suggest the right move. If 4-5-year-old children willingly, following an adult, condemn the actions of their peers, then 6-year-olds, on the contrary, can unite with a friend in their opposition to an adult. All this may indicate that the prosocial actions of older preschoolers are not aimed at a positive assessment of an adult and not at observing moral standards, but directly at another child.

It is widely known that there are significant individual differences in a child's attitude towards peers, which largely determine his well-being, position among others, and, ultimately, the characteristics of personality development.

Throughout the preschool age, children's communication with each other changes significantly in all respects: the content of the need, motives and means of communication change. These changes can proceed smoothly, gradually, however, qualitative shifts are observed in them, as if fractures. From two to seven years, two such fractures are noted: the first occurs at about four years, the second at about six years.

The first turning point is externally manifested in a sharp increase in the importance of other children in a child's life. If by the time of its occurrence and within one or two years after that, the need to communicate with a peer occupies a rather modest place (it is much more important for a child of two or three years to communicate with an adult and play with toys), then in four-year-old children this need comes to the fore . Now they begin to clearly prefer the company of other children to an adult or a solitary game.

The second fracture is outwardly expressed less clearly, but it is no less important. It is associated with the emergence of selective attachments, friendships, and with the emergence of more stable and deeper relationships between children.

At the age of 4 to 6, preschoolers have a situational-business form of communication with their peers. At 4 years old, the need to communicate with peers is put forward in one of the first places. This change is due to the fact that the role-playing game and other activities are rapidly developing, acquiring a collective character. Preschoolers are trying to establish business cooperation, coordinate their actions to achieve the goal, which is the main content of the need for communication.

The desire to act together is so strongly expressed that children compromise, giving each other a toy, the most attractive role in the game, and so on. Children clearly show a tendency to compete, competitiveness, intransigence in assessing comrades.

In the 5th year of life, children constantly ask about the successes of their comrades, demand recognition of their own achievements, notice the failures of other children and try to hide their mistakes. The preschooler seeks to draw attention to himself. The child does not highlight the interests, desires of a friend, does not understand the motives of his behavior. And at the same time, he shows a keen interest in everything that his peer does.

Children use a variety of means of communication, and despite the fact that they talk a lot, speech remains situational.

Features of communication with peers are clearly manifested in the topics of conversation. What preschoolers talk about makes it possible to trace what they value in their peers and through what they assert themselves in his eyes.

Middle preschoolers are more likely to demonstrate to their peers what they can do and how they do it. At 5-7 years old, children talk a lot about themselves, about what they like or dislike. They share with their peers their knowledge, “plans for the future” (“what will I be when I grow up”).

Despite the development of contacts with peers, conflicts between children are observed at any period of childhood. Consider their typical reasons.

In infancy and early childhood, the most common cause of conflicts with peers is the treatment of another child as an inanimate object and the inability to play around even with enough toys. A toy for a baby is more attractive than a peer. It obscures the partner and inhibits the development of positive relationships.

It is especially important for a preschooler to demonstrate himself and at least surpass his friend in some way. He needs the confidence that he is noticed, and to feel that he is the best. Among children, the baby has to prove his right to be unique. He compares himself to his peers. But the comparison is very subjective, only in his favor. The child sees a peer as an object of comparison with himself, so the peer himself and his personality are not noticed. Peer interests are often ignored. The kid notices the other when he starts to interfere. And then immediately the peer receives a severe assessment, the corresponding characteristic. The child expects approval and praise from a peer, but since he does not understand that the other needs the same, it is difficult for him to praise or approve a friend. In addition, preschoolers are poorly aware of the reasons for the behavior of others. They do not understand that a peer is the same person with their own interests and needs.

By 5-6 years, the number of conflicts is reduced. It becomes more important for a child to play together than to establish himself in the eyes of a peer. Children are more likely to talk about themselves in terms of “we”. An understanding comes that a friend may have other activities, games, although preschoolers still quarrel, and often fight.

Boyko Ksenia Yurievna
Position: educator
Educational institution: MDOU kindergarten №2
Locality: Belgorod region, Valuysky district, Urazovo village
Material name: Article
Topic: The problem of conflict behavior in preschool children.
Publication date: 31.10.2016
Chapter: preschool education

The problem of conflict behavior in preschool children
Conflict - a collision of oppositely directed, incompatible with each other tendencies in the mind of a single individual, associated with acute negative emotional experiences. Conflicts associated with a child's violation of the rules of behavior in kindergarten, conflicts of emotional and personal relationships that arise in the process of communicating with peers and manifested in the form of clashes, skirmishes, disputes and quarrels are characteristic of preschool age. At preschool age, the child's world is already, as a rule, inextricably linked with other children. And the older the child becomes, the more important contacts with peers become for him. Obviously, a child's communication with peers is a special area of ​​his life, which differs significantly from communication with adults. Close adults are usually attentive and friendly to the baby, they surround him with warmth and care, teach him certain skills and abilities. With peers, things are different. Children are less attentive and friendly, they are usually not too eager to help each other, support and understand their peers. They can take away a toy, offend, not paying attention to tears. And yet, communication with other children brings a preschooler incomparable pleasure. Preschool age is a particularly crucial period in education, as the age of the initial formation of a child's personality. At this time, there are rather difficult relationships in the communication of the child with his contemporaries, a significant image of his personality that affects development when organizing educational work with preschoolers. At preschool age, the child's world is already, as a rule, inextricably linked with other children. And the older the child becomes, the more important contacts with peers become for him. It is obvious that a child's communication with his contemporaries is a special sphere of his life activity, which differs significantly from communication with adults. Close adults are usually attentive and friendly to the baby, they surround him with warmth and care, teach him certain skills and abilities. With contemporaries, everything happens differently. Children are less attentive and friendly, they are usually not too eager to help each other, support and understand their peers. They can take away a toy, offend, not paying attention to tears. And yet, communication with other children brings a preschooler incomparable pleasure. The preschool period of childhood is sensitive for the formation in the child of the foundations of collectivist qualities, as well as a humane attitude towards other people. If the foundations of these qualities are not laid at preschool age, the whole personality of the child may become defective, and subsequently it will be extremely difficult to fill this gap. However, at preschool age, against the background of a favorable environment for upbringing in kindergarten, conditions can be created when the influence of the environment becomes “pathogenic” for the development of the individual, since it infringes on it. That is why early diagnosis and prevention of conflict relations, troubles, emotional discomfort of a child among peers become so important. great value. Ignorance of them makes all attempts to study and build full-fledged children's relationships ineffective, as well as
hinders the implementation of an individual approach to the formation of the child's personality. Children come to kindergarten with different emotional attitudes, heterogeneous claims, and at the same time with different skills and abilities. As a result, each in his own way meets the requirements of the teacher and peers and creates an attitude towards himself. In turn, the requirements and needs of others find a different response from the child himself, the environment turns out to be different for children, and in some cases - extremely unfavorable. A child's trouble in the preschool group can manifest itself ambiguously: as unsociable or aggressively sociable behavior. But regardless of the specifics, children's trouble is a very serious phenomenon, behind it, as a rule, lies a deep conflict in relationships with peers, as a result of which the child remains alone among children. Changes in the child's behavior are secondary neoplasms, distant consequences of the root causes of the conflict. The fact is that the conflict itself and the negative features that arise as a result of it are hidden from observation for a long time. That is why the source of the conflict, its root cause, as a rule, is missed by the educator, and pedagogical prevention is no longer effective. Therefore, it is necessary to consider two types of conflicts in preschoolers who experience difficulties in communicating with peers: internal and external. External obvious conflicts among preschoolers are generated by contradictions that arise when they organize joint activities or in the process of it. External conflicts arise in the sphere of children's business relations, however, as a rule, they do not go beyond it and do not capture deeper layers of relations. Therefore, they are of a transitory, situational nature and are usually resolved by the children themselves by establishing the norm of justice on their own. External conflicts are useful, as they give the child the right to responsibility, to a creative solution to a difficult, problematic situation and act as a regulator of fair, full-fledged relations between children. Modeling of such conflict situations in the pedagogical process can be considered as one of the effective means of moral education. An internal conflict arises in preschoolers in the conditions of their leading play activity and is mostly hidden from observation. Unlike the external one, it is caused by contradictions connected not with the organizational part of the activity, but with the activity itself, with its formation in the child, contradictions between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in the game, or contradictions in the motives of the child's and peers' play. Such contradictions cannot be overcome by children without the help of adults. Under the conditions of these contradictions, the inner emotional comfort of the child, his positive emotional well-being is infringed, he cannot satisfy his essential needs, not only business but also personal relationships are distorted, and psychological isolation from peers arises. The function of internal conflicts is purely negative, they hinder the formation of full-fledged, harmonious relationships and the formation of personality. Each child occupies a certain position in the peer group, which is expressed in the way his peers treat him. The degree of popularity that a child enjoys depends on many reasons: his knowledge, mental development, behavioral characteristics, the ability to establish contacts with other children, appearance.
Communication with children is a necessary condition for the development of the child. The need for communication early becomes his basic social need. Communication with peers plays an important role in the life of a preschooler. It is a condition for the formation of the social qualities of the child's personality, the manifestation and development of the beginnings of the collective relationships of children in the children's group. Currently in theory and practice preschool pedagogy more and more importance is attached to children's collective activity in the classroom, as a means of moral education. Joint activity unites children with a common goal, task, joys, sorrows, feelings for a common cause. There is a distribution of responsibilities, coordination of actions. By participating in joint activities, the child learns to yield to the wishes of peers or to convince them that he is right, to make efforts to achieve a common result.

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