I have collected advice, tips, rules for parents of preschoolers. In my opinion, very useful and decorated wonderfully. We use the recommendations by posting on the website of the basic kindergarten.

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Tips for Parents of a Hyperactive Child

How can you tell if a child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or is just active? Let's delimit these concepts.

active child:

Most of the day he "does not sit still", prefers outdoor games to passive ones (puzzles, constructors), but if he is interested, he can read a book with his mother and assemble the same puzzle.

Talks fast and talks a lot, asks an infinite number of questions.

For him, sleep and digestive disorders (intestinal disorders) are rather an exception.

He is not active everywhere. For example, restless and restless at home, but calm - in the garden, visiting unfamiliar people.

He is non-aggressive. That is, by chance or in the heat of a conflict, he can kick his "colleague in the sandbox", but he himself rarely provokes a scandal.

hyperactive child:

He is in constant motion and simply cannot control himself, that is, even if he is tired, he continues to move, and when he is completely exhausted, he cries and hysteria.

He speaks quickly and a lot, swallows words, interrupts, does not listen to the end. He asks a million questions, but rarely listens to the answers to them.

It is impossible to put him to sleep, and if he sleeps, then in fits and starts, restlessly. He often has intestinal disorders. For hyperactive children, all kinds of allergies are not uncommon.

The child is uncontrollable, while he absolutely does not respond to prohibitions and restrictions. And in any conditions (home, shop, kindergarten, playground) behaves equally actively.

Often provokes conflicts. He does not control his aggression - he fights, bites, pushes, and uses improvised means: sticks, stones ...

The main causes of hyperactivity

Often hyperactivity is a consequence of not too smooth birth and disorders in infancy. The risk group includes children born as a result of caesarean section, severe pathological childbirth, artificial babies born with low birth weight, premature. Given that the ecology and pace of modern life now leave much to be desired, it is not surprising why hyperactive children are not uncommon, but rather the norm of our lives today. And it is worth mentioning: not all children at risk are necessarily hyperactive! And later, if all the "misunderstandings" (restlessness, hysteria, colic, sleep disturbances) did not disappear before the baby's first birthday, then it is not too late to bring them back to normal after.

What needs to be done so that the baby gets rid of the "surplus" of activity?

1. Create certain living conditions for him.

This includes a calm psychological situation in the family, a clear daily routine (with obligatory walks on fresh air, where there is an opportunity to frolic for glory). Parents will also have to work hard. If you yourself are very emotional and unbalanced, you are constantly late everywhere, in a hurry, then it's time to start working on yourself. We no longer rush headlong into the garden, constantly urging the child, we try to be less nervous and less likely to change plans "on the go." Say to yourself: "A clear daily routine" and try to become more organized yourself.

2. Use these tips:

It's not the kid's fault that he's such a lively guy, so it's useless to scold him, punish him, arrange humiliating silent boycotts. By doing this, you will achieve only one thing - a decrease in his self-esteem, a feeling of guilt that he is "wrong" and cannot please mom and dad.

Teaching your child to manage themselves is your first priority. "Aggressive" games will help him control his emotions. Everyone has negative emotions, including your child, only a taboo, tell him: "If you want to beat, beat, but not on living beings (people, plants, animals)". You can hit the ground with a stick, throw stones where there are no people, kick something with your feet. He just needs to splash energy out, teach him how to do it.

In education, it is necessary to avoid two extremes - the manifestation of excessive softness and the presentation of increased demands on him. Permissiveness should not be allowed: children should be clearly explained the rules of behavior in various situations. However, the number of prohibitions and restrictions should be kept to a reasonable minimum.

The child needs to be praised in each case when he managed to complete the work he started. On the example of relatively simple cases, you need to teach how to properly distribute forces.

It is necessary to protect children from overwork associated with an excessive amount of impressions (TV, computer), avoid places with increased crowds.
- In some cases, excessive activity and excitability may be the result of parents presenting too high requirements to the child, which he simply cannot meet due to his natural abilities, as well as excessive fatigue. In this case, parents should be less demanding, try to reduce the load.

- "Movement is life", lack physical activity may cause increased arousal. Can't be held back natural need child to play noisy games, frolic, run, jump.

Sometimes behavioral disorders may be a child's reaction to a psychological trauma, for example, a crisis situation in the family, divorce of parents, bad attitude to him, placing him in an inappropriate school class, a conflict with a teacher or parents.

When thinking about your child's diet, prioritize proper nutrition, in which there will be no lack of vitamins and minerals. More than other children, a hyperactive baby needs to adhere to the golden mean in nutrition: less fried, spicy, salty, smoked, more boiled, stewed and fresh vegetables and fruits. Another rule: if the child does not want to eat - do not force him!

Prepare your fidget "field for maneuvers": active sports for him - just a panacea.

Teach your baby to passive games. We read, but also draw, sculpt. Even if it is difficult for your child to sit still, he is often distracted, follow him ("You are interested in this, let's see ..."), but after satisfying the interest, try to return with the baby to the previous lesson and bring it to the end.

Teach your baby to relax. Perhaps your "recipe" for finding inner harmony with him is yoga. For some, other relaxation methods are more suitable. good psychologist will tell you what it could be: art therapy, fairy tale therapy, or maybe meditation.

And don't forget to tell your child how much you love him.

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Children's aggression

What is aggression?

Aggression is a physical or verbal (verbal) behavior aimed at harming someone.

How does aggression manifest itself in children?

1. Anger and indignation in the desperate crying of a baby, the reason for which is simple: the physiological needs of the child are not satisfied. The aggressive reaction in this case is the reaction of the struggle for survival.
2. An outburst of rage and a physical attack on a peer, conflicts due to the possession of toys in a baby 1.2-5 years old. If parents at this age are intolerant of his behavior, then symbolic forms of aggressiveness may form as a result: whining, disobedience, stubbornness, etc.
3. Screaming, crying, biting, stamping feet in a 3-year-old child, which are associated with the limitation of his “exploratory instinct”, with the conflict between insatiable curiosity and parental “no”.
4. Pugnacity in a boy, crying, squealing in girls preschool age. Boys at this age show more aggressive tendencies than girls, as the latter are afraid of their manifestation due to fear of punishment. While the environment is more supportive and tolerant of boys' aggression.
5. At primary school age, the most frequent acts of physical attack in boys and more "socialized" forms of aggression in girls: insults, teasing, rivalry.
6. In adolescent boys, physical aggression (attacks, fights) continues to dominate, while in girls - negativism and verbal aggression (gossip, criticism, threats, swearing).).

Is it always bad?

Not always. Aggression has its own positive, healthy traits that are necessary for life.

This is perseverance, perseverance in achieving goals, striving for victory, overcoming obstacles. Therefore, educational activities should not be aimed at completely eliminating aggressiveness from the nature of children, but at limiting and controlling its negative features, and encouraging its positive manifestations..

Causes of child aggression.

Aggression can occur in the following cases:

1. as a response to frustration. This is an attempt to overcome an obstacle on the way to satisfying needs, achieving emotional balance.
2. as a last resort when the child has exhausted all other options to meet his needs.
3. As "learned" behavior, when a child acts aggressively, following a pattern (behavior of parents, literary, film and television heroes).

Also, the manifestation of aggressiveness is influenced by biological factors (features nervous system, heredity, biochemical factors).

When do you need specialist help?

Two types of child aggressiveness require special intervention:

First - when a child over the age of five takes pleasure in torturing other children and animals. This type is rare, but always requires special treatment by a neuropsychiatrist.

Second - hyperactive child Such a child is restless, aggressive, hurts everything and everyone, a “trail” of destruction and resentment stretches behind him. The behavior of such a child is characterized by impulsiveness, rash acts, violation of prohibitions. Such a child may be loving, generous, sweet at heart, but the biochemical imbalance of the cerebral cortex makes his behavior overactive. Such an impulsive child is the subject of concern for a doctor who can prescribe the necessary medicines.

Aggressiveness warning

The best way to avoid excessive aggressiveness in a child is to show him love. There is no baby who, feeling loved, would be aggressive.

1. Parents should try to understand the reasons aggressive behavior child and eliminate them.
2. Give your child the opportunity to vent their energy. Let him frolic alone or with a friend. Don't let an over-reactive child sit idle. Let his energy be spent for "peaceful" purposes: sports, scientific circles, "machinery", etc.
3. Avoid watching movies and TV shows with scenes of violence and cruelty.
4. Help your child find friends, teach him to communicate with peers. In joint classes, children will quickly learn the norms of generally accepted behavior.
5. Don't resort to physical punishment.
6. Show your child a personal example of effective benevolent behavior. Do not allow outbursts of anger and rage, insults to your colleagues, development of plans, revenge, with him.

Treatment of aggressiveness

Approximately the same methods are suitable for the treatment of aggressiveness as for the prevention. For a child of this type, just a gentle word can remove his bitterness. Do not consider such a child spoiled. If you begin to think this way, you may feel a sense of alienation, rejection of the child. He will definitely feel this, and the feeling of loneliness among the closest ones can lead to the fact that the child will become very difficult.

The child himself suffers the most from aggressiveness: he is in a quarrel with his parents, he loses friends, he lives in constant irritation, and often in fear. All this makes the child unhappy. Care and warmth for such a child is the best medicine. Let him feel at every moment that his parents love, appreciate and accept him. Let the child see that he is needed and important to you.

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CHILD LIES

What should parents think about when their children lie? How honest are they? Parents are the main role model. Psychologists note that liar children usually grow up in families where the parents themselves are dishonest.

Many people think that knowing everything about the child and his affairs (including his personal life) can protect the child from trouble. Of course, each parent must have certain information, but its volume depends on the age of the child, that is, parents must clearly distinguish what they need to know and what they can put up with as a manifestation of the child's independence. Parents can make a list of issues they need to be aware of, such as:

- who are the child's friends, what is their behavior;

What TV programs does the child watch?

- how the child behaves in kindergarten.

Areas in which parents do not interfere:

- personal correspondence;

- telephone conversations;

- children's room.

Another tip: create a relationship that is completely built on trust (such relationships are born from the very beginning of communication between parents and children, and if the parents constantly demonstrate complete trust to the child, then the child will have no reason to lie).

If a child is caught in a blatant lie, this should not be the end of trust (a single lie is still forgivable). If the lie becomes chronic, the child will suffer the consequences of a loss of trust.

Formula of trust for parents:

“There is nothing more important in our relationship with you than trust. If you do something that I'm sure I don't like, don't be afraid to tell me. You can remind me not to get angry. Of course, you can try to hide your act, but I will be just proud of you if you find the courage to tell the truth.

How should parents behave with a little liar

Understand possible cause lie and analyze it.

Answer the question: did the kid lie innocently or deliberately?

And if intentionally, then why?

What are you guilty of?

Do you have high demands on your child or does he just imitate you?

Did you yourself provoke deception with temptations or trap questions?

Who suffered from the lie: you, your child or an outsider?

Does your child feel abandoned in the family?

Do you compare him with other children in the family, expressing dissatisfaction and causing jealousy and rivalry?

Are you underestimating his self-esteem?

Are you overprotecting your baby?

Is he not copying you, being unexpected witnesses of how you "manipulate" lies, considering them to be mere trifles?

Do you arouse hostility in him with your punishments “for the cause” or for the purpose of “prevention”?

As soon as it seems to you that you have found a possible reason for lying, try to act and help the child.

If the child himself confesses to a lie, in no case should he be punished, rather encourage him to believe in his own strength: since he could admit that he told a lie, it means that he is honest and will no longer deceive anyone.

If the child does not want to confess, do not force him to do it, but rather tell him a fairy tale or come up with a story about what lying leads to and how much trouble it causes.

Teach him to tell any truth. Let him understand: it is better to have an "impolite" truth than a "polite" lie.

Try to encourage the sincerity of the child as often as possible.

If lies deserve punishment...

Benjamin Spock wrote: "I do not advocate the need for physical punishment, but, in my opinion, spanking a child is less painful for him than a long, severe condemnation." As for lying, it is generally accepted that a child who is subjected to physical punishment lies more often in order to avoid them.

Avoid using physical punishment.

Separate the punishment for lying (an attempt to hide the act) from the punishment for the offense covered by the lie.

Emphasize how important the child's action can be to others.

The punishment must be proportionate to the deed.

If, after repeated teachings and punishments, the child continues to lie, then a specialist consultation is needed.

Do not punish the child if he himself confessed to a lie, gave an assessment of his own act.

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Scandal all the way

or how to deal with child tantrums

Every adult sometimes encounters childish tantrums, everyone remembers what kind of load (psychological and physiological) they are accompanied by. In such a situation, when strangers are looking at you, it is easy to get confused or lose your temper. How to be?

Here's what psychologists advise:

1. Remember that even the most wonderful mothers find themselves in such situations, and this is not about the mother, but about the temperament and character of your child.

Think about the reason for the child's tantrum:

1. The child lacks your attention, and in this way he seeks to win it (such a habit is fixed very quickly and is often used in adulthood);
2. The child manipulates you, he is used to achieving everything he wants in this way.

Distinguishing manipulation is not easy, but watch your child: how he's the one crying what helps him calm down.

If you realize that you are being manipulated, let the child know that you do not approve of his actions;

C) the child is tired, wants to sleep, he is hungry: eradicate the cause, and the tantrum will pass.

2. The main remedy for tantrums is not to fall into the same frenzy, trying to remain calm, express your sympathy for the child:

“I understand that you are now angry because we cannot buy you ...”, “I know how insulting it is”; "When you calm down, we will discuss with you what happened."

The child will not hear you the first time, but by repeating this phrase 20 times, you will reach your baby and he will be grateful to you that you did not give free rein to your feelings (but as you wanted!). Talk to your child, find out the reasons for his behavior.

3. You can try to take the child in your arms, hug you and wait for everything to end, expressing your sympathy, preferably in one frequently repeated phrase.

4. Children 3 - 5 years old are quite capable of understanding the logical explanations of adults. It's time to teach your child to experience and live through troubles, and not to pretend that nothing happened.

Of course, explain something out loud crying child very hard.

5. If possible, forget that they are looking at you: these people themselves have fallen into this situation more than once.

6. When the storm has struck, do not reproach yourself, do not blame the child, his (grandmother's, grandfather's, father's, mother's, aunt's) character.

Remember that no one knows your child the way they know themselves. Conclusion: talk with your child more often about his mood, desires, interests and responsibilities.

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Computer: "for" and "against"

Probably, most parents are now facing the computer boom that almost all children are subject to. Today, the fascination of the computer is incomparable to television or any other activity. Magic computer games has now embraced almost the entire young generation around the world. Parents are most often concerned about the impact of a computer on vision and the harm of radiation, as well as the opportunity to get a future computer fan in the person of their own child, immersed in an artificial virtual world that takes him away from real life.

What picture do we observe in almost all families where there is a computer? The child, having come home, rushes to the computer, languidly kicking away from our persistent attempts to feed his modern child with lunch. And endless games until the evening. Familiar?

Trust me, you are not alone.

Many parents, having bought a computer for their child, breathe a sigh of relief. this, to some extent, solves the problems of the child’s free time, his education (according to training programs) or development (according to developing programs), as well as getting him a charge of positive emotions from his favorite game, etc.

A small child is a very sensitive organism, all of whose physiological systems, including those necessary for successful interaction with a computer, develop at preschool and primary school age. Unlimited activities on the computer against the background of an ever-increasing information load can accelerate adverse changes in the child's well-being and affect his psyche. We advise parents to pay attention to the following points.

1. Buy a good quality computer and display for your child, do not save on the health of children.
2. Place the computer on a table in the corner of the room, with its back against the wall, in a well-lit area, but without glare on the screen.
3. Organize your child's workspace properly. Choose furniture that matches his height.

For children 115 - 130 cm tall, the recommended table height is 54 cm, the seat height of the chair (required with a hard back) is 32 cm. The distance between the child and the display is at least 50 - 70 cm (the farther, the better). The posture of the child is straight or slightly inclined forward, with a slight tilt of the head, the landing is stable. The space between the body and the edge of the table is at least 5 cm.

1. Do a daily wet cleaning of the room where the computer is used. Ventilate the room more often; to increase the humidity of the air, install an aquarium or other containers with water.
2. Wipe the screen with a clean cloth or tissue paper before and after using the computer.
3. Place cacti next to the computer: these plants absorb its harmful radiation.
4. Take special care for children computer programs: they must correspond to the age of the child both in content and in the quality of design.
5. Remember: without prejudice to health, preschoolers can work at a computer for no more than 15 minutes, and children of myopic parents and children with health problems - only 10 minutes a day, and 3 times a week, every other day.
6. After each session, do eye exercises and general strengthening exercises with your child.

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"Play with the kids"

Parents know that children love to play, encourage their independent play, buy toys. But not everyone thinks about the educational value of children's games. They believe that the game is for fun, for the entertainment of the child. Others see in it one of the means of distracting the baby from pranks, whims, filling his free time so that he is in business.

The same parents who constantly play with children, watch the game, appreciate it as one of the important means of education.

For a preschool child, play is the leading activity in which he mental development, the personality as a whole is formed.

The life of adults interests children not only with its external side. They are attracted by the inner world of people, the relationship between them, the attitude of parents to each other, to friends, to other relatives, to the child himself. Their attitude to work, to surrounding objects.

Children imitate their parents: the manner of dealing with others, their actions, labor actions. And they transfer all this into their games, thus consolidating the accumulated experience of behavior, forms of attitude.

With the accumulation of life experience, under the influence of training, education - children's games become more meaningful, diverse in plots, themes, in the number of roles played, participants in the game. In games, the child begins to reflect not only the life of the family, the facts that are directly perceived by him. But also the images of the heroes of fairy tales read to him, stories that he needs to create according to the idea.

However, without guidance from adults, children even of older preschool age do not always know how to play. Some have little ability to apply their knowledge, they do not know how to fantasize, others, being able to play on their own, do not have organizational skills.

It is difficult for them to negotiate with partners, to act together. One of the older members of the family, joining the game, can become a link between the children, teach them to play together. Host partners can also play together. Usually, each imposes his theme of the game on the other, striving to be in the lead role. In this case, you can not do without the help of an adult. You can play the main role in turn, an adult can take a secondary role. Joint games of parents with children spiritually and emotionally enrich children, satisfy the need for communication with loved ones, strengthen faith in their own strength.

The authority of father and mother, who know and can do everything. It grows in the eyes of children, and with it grows love and devotion to loved ones. It’s good if a preschooler knows how to start a game on his own, pick up the right game material, mentally build a game plan, negotiate with his game partners, or be able to accept his plan and jointly carry out his plan. Then we can talk about the ability of a preschooler to play. But these children also require attention and serious attitude to your games. They sometimes need to consult with their mother, father, grandmother, older brother, sister. In the course of the game, ask, clarify, get approval of their actions, actions, thus affirming themselves in the forms of behavior.

Younger preschoolers aged 2-4 not only can't play together, they can't play on their own. The kid usually aimlessly drives the car back and forth, not finding more use for it, he quickly abandons it, demands new toy. Independence in the game is formed gradually, in the process of playing communication with adults, with older children, with peers. The development of independence largely depends on how the child's life is organized in the game. To wait until he begins to play on his own means deliberately inhibiting the development of a child's personality.

One of the important pedagogical conditions that contribute to the development of the game of a small child is the selection of toys by age. For a baby, a toy is the center of the game, a material support. She pushes him to the topic of the game, gives rise to new connections, causes a desire to act with her, enriches sensory experience. But toys that adults like do not always have educational value for children. Sometimes a simple shoebox is more valuable than any clockwork toy. The box can be a trailer for a car in which you can transport cubes, soldiers, bricks, or arrange a stroller for dolls in the box.

Older preschoolers appreciate toys made by their parents. Children constantly need to have pieces of fur, fabric, cardboard, wire, wood on hand. From them, children make the missing toys, rebuild, supplement, etc., which, undoubtedly, expands the playing possibilities of children, fantasy, and forms labor skills.

In the play area of ​​the child should be different toys: plot-shaped (depicting people, animals, objects of labor, everyday life, transport, etc.), motor (various wheelchairs, strollers, balls, skipping ropes, sports toys), building sets, didactic (various turrets, nesting dolls, board games).

When purchasing a toy, it is important to pay attention not only to novelty, attractiveness, cost, but also to pedagogical expediency. Before you make another purchase, it's a good idea to talk to your son or daughter about what kind of toy he needs and for what game. Often girls play only with dolls, so they are often deprived of the joy of playing games that develop ingenuity, resourcefulness, Creative skills. Girls play with dolls either alone or only with girls. With boys, they have no common interests and no prerequisites for the emergence of friendly relationships between children. Boys usually play with cars, with children's weapons. Such toys also limit the circle of communication with girls. It is better when we are adults, we will not divide toys into “girls” and “boys”.

If a boy does not play with a doll, he can buy a bear, a doll in the form of a boy, a baby, a sailor, Pinocchio, Cheburashka, etc. It is important that the baby gets the opportunity to take care of someone. Stuffed Toys, depicting people and animals, delight children with their attractive appearance, evoke positive emotions, a desire to play with them, especially if adults from an early age are taught to take care of toys, save them neat appearance. These toys turn out to be the first helpers of children in acquiring the experience of communicating with the surrounding children and adults. If a child does not have sisters and brothers, then toys are in fact his partners in games, with whom he shares his sorrows and joys. Games with building materials develop in children a sense of form, space, color, imagination, constructive abilities.

Sometimes adults need to help build this or that building, think together what parts are needed, what color, how to fix it, how to supplement the missing structures, how to use the building in the game.

Games: lotto, dominoes, paired pictures, open up the opportunity for children to enjoy the game, develop memory, attention, observation, eye, small muscles of the hands, learn endurance, patience.

Such games have an organizing effect, since they offer to strictly follow the rules. It is interesting to play such games with the whole family so that all partners are equal in the rules of the game. The little one also gets used to the fact that he needs to play, observing the rules, comprehending their meaning.

Very valuable are the games of children with theatrical toys. They are attractive with their external bright appearance, the ability to "talk".

The production of flat figures from cardboard and other materials by the whole family allows children to independently play familiar works fiction invent fairy tales.

The participation of adults in children's games can be different. If a child has just bought a toy and knows how to play with it, it is best to let him act on his own. But soon the experience of the child is depleted. The toy becomes uninteresting. Here the help of the elders is needed, to suggest a new game action, to show them, to offer additional game material to the existing game. When playing with a child, it is important for parents to follow their plan. The even, calm, friendly tone of an equal partner in the game inspires the child with confidence that they understand him, they want to play with him.

If a preschooler, especially a small one, has a play corner, then from time to time he should be allowed to play in the room where the family gathers in the evenings, in the kitchen, in the grandmother's room, where there is a new environment, where everything is interesting. The new environment gives rise to new game actions, plots.

The child is very happy with the minutes given to him by his parents in the game. Communication in the game is not fruitless for the baby. The more precious minutes fall in the company of people close to him, the greater the relationship, common interests, love between them in the future.

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10 Rules for Changing Your Child's Problem Behavior

1. Establish contact with the child. Self-control. Calm. Tact.

2. Clarify your worries. Don't make assumptions. Briefly describe the problem, why it bothers you and what behavior you expect from him.

3. Promise each other to solve the problem together.

Ideally, you must be members of the same team in order to be successful.

4. Practice with him a new behavior that is designed to replace the problematic one so that he knows how to use it correctly.

5. Fix problem behavior as soon as it occurs.

6. Constantly check on your child's progress throughout the step change.

7. Let your child know about the penalties. They must be weighted, appropriate for the child's age and misconduct, and announced in advance.

8. Apply penalties for continued problematic behavior. Be consistent!

9. Encourage your child to try to be good.

10. Congratulate your child on success every time you see a positive result.

All the best!

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MEETINGS ON THE THEME
"Adaptation of the child in kindergarten"

Target: expansion of parents' ideas about the features of the child's adaptation to new conditions, about the factors influencing successful adaptation.

Equipment: paper (1/8 A4 sheet) for business cards (20 pieces), A4 sheets (40 pieces), safety pins, colored pencils, felt-tip pens, Whatman paper, posters (appendices 1, 2, 3, 4, 5), any of feedback options (Appendix 6) for each participant.

PROCESS OF THE MEETING

Exercise "Business cards"

The facilitator invites the participants to get acquainted and prepare business cards. After the business cards are made, each of those present is invited to name themselves and briefly talk about their child attending kindergarten.

Exercise "Rules of our group"

Leading. The rules govern the forms of communication in the group. We have to discuss generally accepted rules and choose some for our group.

Participants are given the right to remove and add rules (see Appendix 1). All rules are written to big sheet whatman paper and placed on the board (stand, typesetting canvas, wall, etc.).

Exercise Analysis

To what extent are the proposed rules clear to participants?

Which of the new rules have been helpful and which have been burdensome?

Is it worth adopting additional rules or should we stick to the traditional ones?

Exercise "My mood"(1st part)

Leading. Now I will ask you to take pencils, a sheet of paper and draw a picture that corresponds to your current state, mood.

At the end of the drawing, a demonstration of the resulting drawings is held. The facilitator summarizes the general mood of the group and captures the various manifestations of the mood of the participants, expressed in the selection of colors, elements of the picture, etc.

Thus, we can say that it is impossible to accurately calculate the number of adaptation periods and each person can experience the process of adaptation more than once during one day. But we can distinguish the following, the most striking(Appendix 2).

Adaptation - adaptation to conditions environment. Psychological adaptation assumes that a person is in harmony with himself, communication partners and the world around him as a whole.

What do you think, what psychophysical reactions can be typical for a child during the period of adaptation?

There is a discussion, at the end of which the facilitator offers a poster with this information (Appendix 3).

Depending on the temperament, individual characteristics and preliminary activities carried out by parents during the adaptation period, the child gets used to kindergarten in different ways. In a nursery, this period should not exceed 7-10 days, in a kindergarten for children aged 3-4 years - two to three weeks, at senior preschool age - 1 month.

Which children have the hardest time adjusting to kindergarten?

There is a discussion, at the end of which the facilitator offers a poster with this information (Appendix 4).

Parents should remember and steadily follow a few rules. This will help to avoid serious problems and psychological disorders in the child.(Appendix 5).

Exercise "Situation"

The facilitator reads the situation and offers to answer questions.

Today Shurik turned three years old, and his mother took him to kindergarten for the first time, warning that she would soon pick him up from the group. At first, Shurik liked kindergarten. He had never seen so many new clockwork toys and an endless supply of cars. Forgetting about his mother, Shurik rushed to the toys, but the teacher called everyone for a walk, and Shurik had to go with the children. But he could not, like other children, dress himself, lace up his shoes, tie a scarf. Mom was not here, and Shurik asked the teacher to help him a little. All the children began to laugh that he was so clumsy, and after that no one wanted to play with him in the yard. And Shurik again remembered his mother, he remembered what she had said, and ran to the gate, expecting that she was about to come for him. But mom wasn't there. And instead of her, the teacher appeared and began to scold him for leaving the group without permission. She forced him to return to the children. He became stubborn and did not want to go. Then he burst into tears and began to loudly call his mother. Shurik refused dinner, did not want to go to bed. He sat down at the door and, wailing, again began to call for his mother. But his mother came for him very late, after dinner. And, having found out from the teacher the details of today, she became terribly angry and, in front of everyone, attacked Shurik, scolding him for behaving so badly. She promised that she would put him in a corner, and took the roaring home away, not understanding why he burst into tears. And he sobbed harder and harder.

Questions

Did Shurik's mother do the right thing by leaving him for the first time for the whole day in kindergarten?

Had she done the right thing by coming after him to take him home?

What would you do in her place?

Games "On the way to kindergarten"

In order for a child to go to kindergarten with a desire, you can play with him.

1. "Everything is round (square, triangular)"

Child and adult take turns naming objects round shape encountered along the way.

2. "Red (Green) Items"- according to the principle of exercise number 1.

3. "Magic Figures".We imitate with the child the gait of a bunny, a bear, a fox, etc.

4. "What's gone?", "What's changed?"

An adult removes a glove from his hand or pins a badge to his jacket and asks the child to say what has changed. You can observe what has changed on the way to kindergarten.

5. "Riddles"

Along the way, you can come up with riddles. For example, ask a child: “Round, sweet, soft, in a beautiful wrapper. What is it?" Or: “Red-haired, with a fluffy tail, likes to gnaw nuts, jumps on trees. Who is this?"

Exercise "My mood"(2nd part)

Participants are invited to draw on a new sheet of paper what corresponds to their current mood.

Exercise Analysis

What is pictured and why?

Has the mood changed compared to what it was at the beginning of the meeting? In which direction? What caused the change?

Feedback

The facilitator offers parents one of the feedback options (Appendix 6).

At the end of the written registration of impressions, the facilitator invites the meeting participants to talk about their impressions, thoughts, feelings, wishes.

APPS

Annex 1

Approximate rules of communication in a group

1. Each of those present is here only because he wants it.

2. For everyone, the concept of truth is determined by what he is, what he feels, how he evaluates what is happening.

3. Our first goal is to establish positive contact with each other.

4. We must be honest, sincerely express our attitude to what is happening.

5. We must listen to others.

6. It is necessary that everyone participate in making a group decision.

7. New members become members of our group simply because they sit in a common circle and stay.

Annex 2

Situations requiring adaptation
child to a change in life circumstances

Admission to kindergarten.

Moving from one group to another.

Prolonged illness.

Long vacation.

Stay in a sanatorium-type kindergarten.

Change of teacher.

The appearance of a new child in a peer group.

Appendix 3

Psychophysiological reactions of the child during the period of adaptation

Anxiety

Fear

Lethargy (increased excitability)

Capriciousness

Irritability

Stubbornness

Appendix 4

It is much more difficult and longer for children to adapt:

Being the only ones in the family;

Overprotective parents or grandmothers;

Accustomed to the fact that their whims are indulged;

enjoying the exclusive attention of adults;

Lacking basic self-service skills;

Unsure of themselves;

Those who suffer from night terrors;

Emotionally unstable;

survivors of psychological trauma;

With pronounced defects (at an older age);

Whose parents are too worried about the child due to the need to send him to kindergarten.

Annex 5

Rules for parents during the period
child's adaptation to changing conditions

(memo)

Rule 1 Consider age and emotional attachment child.

Rule 2 Highlight positive points in visiting a kindergarten by a child, so that he goes there with a desire.

Rule 3 Your own childhood memories can make a child want to attend kindergarten.

Rule 4 The preparatory period should begin well before the first day of the kindergarten group visit.

Rule 5 Accustom your child to the kindergarten routine gradually.

Rule 6 Teach your child to be independent.

Rule 7 Loving, do not bring up an egoist.

Rule 8 Give your child an opportunity for emotional release.

Appendix 6

Feedback Options

Option 1

I like it ………………………………………………

I did not like …………….……………………………

I would like to ………………………………………………………

Next ………………………………………………

I wish ……………………………………………………………

Option 2

Write "sun" on a piece of paper positive reviews favorite moments. On the leaflet “thunderstorm” - what you didn’t like, what you need to pay attention to.

Option 3. "Poster"

It is necessary to write down your impressions in the form of one phrase (affirming, proclaiming, etc.).

Preview:

What parents should know and be able to do:

1. The more often the child will communicate with adults, children in the apartment, in the yard, on playground, near the house i.e. in a different environment, the faster and more confidently he will be able to transfer the acquired skills and abilities to the kindergarten environment.
2. Informal kindergarten visit. Those. walks around the territory and an accompanying story about the garden, and the story should be very colorful and, undoubtedly, positive. In your story, try to show your child how fun and good it is for other children in kindergarten.
3. Since each incoming child requires a careful individual approach, then children should be accepted gradually, 2-3 people, with short breaks (2-3 days).
4. In the first days, the child should stay in the group for no more than 2-3 hours.
5. For the first visits, the hours allotted for walks and games are recommended. This allows you to quickly determine the group of behavior of the child, outline the right approach and relieve emotional stress from the first contacts.
6. The establishment of emotional contact between the child and the caregiver should be carried out in a familiar environment in the presence of a loved one. On the first day, a short-term acquaintance with the teacher, aimed at generating interest in kindergarten, at establishing contact between the child and the teacher in a new situation.
7. Group tours are very useful, in which the teacher, parents and child participate.
8. A negative impact on the course of adaptation, as well as on the behavior of children upon admission to a children's institution, is exerted by the lack of unity in the system of education in the family and in the children's institution.

Preview:

Memo for parents in kindergarten

Soon you and your baby will have to start new life. In order for the child to enter it joyful, sociable, matured, we want to offer a number of recommendations:

1. Try to create a calm, friendly atmosphere in the family.
2. Set clear requirements for the child and be consistent in their presentation.
3. Be patient.
4. Develop self-care and personal hygiene skills in your child.
5. Encourage play with other children, expand your social circle with adults.
6. When your child is talking to you, listen carefully.
7. If you see that the child is doing something, start a "parallel conversation" (comment on his actions).
8. Talk to a child in short sentences, slowly; name as many things as you can in a conversation. Give simple and understandable explanations.
9. Ask your child: “What are you doing?”
10. Read to your child every day. Make sure he has new experiences.
11. Engage in joint creative activities with your child: play, sculpt, draw ...
12. Encourage curiosity.
13. Don't skimp on praise.

ENJOY YOUR CHILD!!!

Preview:

Memo to parents from a child

(Let's listen to the advice of our children!)

1. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer this approach. This allows me to define my place.
2. Don't make me feel younger than I really am. I will recoup you for this by becoming a "crybaby" and "whiner".
3. Do not do for me and for me what I can do for myself. I can keep using you as a servant
4. Do not demand from me immediate explanations why I did this or that. Sometimes I myself don’t know why I act this way and not otherwise.
5. Don't test my honesty too much. Being intimidated, I easily turn into a liar.
6. Don't let my fears and fears cause you concern. Otherwise, I will be even more afraid. Show me what courage is.
7. Don't make promises you can't keep - that will shake my faith in you.
8. Don't pick on me and don't yell at me. If you do this, I will be forced to defend myself by pretending to be deaf.
9. Don't try to lecture me and lecture me. You will be surprised to discover how perfectly I know what is good and what is bad.
10. Never even hint that you are perfect and infallible. It gives me a sense of the futility of trying to match you.
11. Don't get too upset when I say, "I hate you." I don't literally mean it. I just want you to regret what you did to me.
12. If you tell me you love me and then ask me to do something for you, I think I'm in the market. But then I will bargain with you and, believe me, I will turn out to be profitable.
13. Don't make me feel like my transgressions are a mortal sin. I have the right to make mistakes, correct them, learn from them. But if you convince me that I am good for nothing, then in the future I will generally be afraid to do something, even knowing that it is right.
14. Don't protect me from the consequences of my own mistakes. I, like you, learn from experience.
15. Don't forget, I love to experiment. In this way, I will know the world, so please put up with it.
16. Do not try to discuss my behavior in the midst of a conflict. For some objective reason, my hearing is dulled during this time, and my desire to cooperate with you becomes much weaker. It will be fine if you take certain steps, but talk to me about this a little later.
17. Do not correct me in front of strangers. I will pay much more attention to your remark if you tell me everything calmly in private.
18. I want to make sure that I was born from your love for each other, and not just from sexual pleasure. Quarrels between you confirm my worst fears.
19. If I see that you love more than a brother or sister, I will not complain to you. I will just attack the one to whom you pay more attention and love. I see justice in this.
20. I'm already interested in the opposite sex. If you ignore this and do not explain what I should do, what I should do with my feelings, then my peers and older guys will tell me about it. Will you be at peace with this?
21. Don't try to get rid of me when I ask frank questions. If you do not answer them, I will generally stop asking them to you and will look for information somewhere on the side.
22. I feel when it's hard and hard for you. Don't hide from me. Dante give me the opportunity to experience this with you. When you trust me, I will trust you.
23. Don't worry that we spend too little time together. What matters to me is how we do it.
24. Do not rely on force in dealing with me. This will teach me that it is necessary to reckon only with force. I will respond more readily to your initiatives.
25. Be careful when in my life there comes a time of greater orientation to peers and older children, At this time, their opinion for me may be more important than yours, During this period I am more critical of you and compare your words with your actions.
26. Treat me the same way you treat your friends. Then I will be your friend. Remember that I learn by imitating examples rather than being criticized.

Ten commandments for parents

1. Don't expect your child to be like you or the way you want. Help him become not you, but himself.
2. Do not ask your child to pay for everything you have done for him. You gave him life, how can he thank you? He will give life to another, that to a third, and this is an irreversible law of gratitude.
3. Do not take out your grievances on the child, so that in old age you do not eat bitter bread. For what you sow, that will come up.
4. Don't take his problems lightly. Life is given to everyone according to their strength and, be sure, it is no less difficult for him than for you, and maybe more, because he has no experience.
5. Don't humiliate!
6. Do not forget that the most important meetings of a person are his meetings with children. Pay more attention to them - we can never know who we meet in a child.
7. Don't torture yourself if you can't do something for your child. Torture if you can - but you don't. Remember, not enough is done for a child if everything is not done.
8. A child is not a tyrant who takes over your whole life, not just a fruit of flesh and blood. This is the precious cup that life has given you for keeping and developing the creative fire in it. This is the liberated love of mother and father, in whom not “our”, “our” child will grow, but the soul given for safekeeping.
9. Know how to love someone else's child. Never do to someone else what you would not like to be done to yours.
10. Love your child in any way - untalented, unlucky, adult. Communicating with him - rejoice, because the child is a holiday that is still with you.

Preview:

Dear residents of the Kirsanovsky district!

Every year from April 1, district educational organizations will begin recruiting preschool educational organizations for a new academic year. On the this moment the department of education draws up a plan for the recruitment of places vacated after the summer graduation of children to school.

Completion is carried out by specialists of the department of education in charge of preschool education Based on the data of the AIS "Assembly" and in accordance with the administrative regulations for the provision of municipal services, specialists form lists of preschool educational organizations indicating free places.

The procedure for enrolling in kindergartens

The distribution of places during recruitment is carried out taking into account the date of registration, as well as certain parents in the application by the kindergarten and the desired date of admission. In accordance with the current legislation, first of all, applications of parents whose children have an extraordinary and priority right to enroll in kindergarten are considered. Then, applications of parents whose children are already attending kindergarten, who wish to transfer the child to another preschool, are subject to consideration. educational institution or those wishing to transfer a child from a group of short-term maintenance for supervision and care to a full-day group of a general developmental orientation (with the implementation of a program preschool education). Further, the applications of parents are considered in accordance with the date of registration (on a general basis). You can find out the status of the submitted application and clarify the serial number in the citywide queue for kindergartens in the district at the district education department at the address: st. Sovetskaya, d.25, room. No. 18, office No. 16, by calling 3 53 79 (methodist Svetlana Viktorovna Nikulina, senior methodist Marina Borisovna Korotkova) or on the public services portal (enter your login and password). As the lists are formed (starting from April 1), they are approved and, together with nominal directions, are transferred to kindergartens. Kindergarten employees inform parents about the results of recruitment within 12 working days and invite them to kindergarten to receive a referral. The parent (legal representative) of the child applies to the kindergarten personally. You must have a passport or other identification document with you. After receiving the referral by the parent, the child is deregistered as a waiting list.

To enroll a child in a kindergarten, the parent must, within 12 working days after receiving the referral for enrollment, provide the necessary documents to the kindergarten: referral and medical card of the child, which is issued at the children's clinic at the place of residence of the baby. If, for objective reasons, the parent cannot provide these documents for enrollment in kindergarten within the specified time, it is necessary to write an application addressed to the head of the kindergarten, indicating the reasons and the expected date of the child's admission to kindergarten.

Dear Parents, If you are planning to send your children to kindergartens, please kindly decide on your wishes before April 1 and submit an application and documents for registering your child to educational organizations in a timely manner!

There is a hotline for enrollment in preschool institutions. You can ask your questions about the turn in the kindergarten to the educational organizations of the district by calling 3 53 79 from Monday to Friday from 8:00 to 12:00 and from 13:00 to 17:00.

Consultations for parents held in the preschool educational institution are one of the forms of differentiated work with the family. This type of work allows the teacher to give qualified advice to the parent on the upbringing and development of the child. In this section, you can find interesting topics and options for conversations with parents, summaries of consultations, ways to design visual information material.

Advice for kindergarten parents

• Victory Day. Advice for parents "Tell your child about the war"
• SDA. Road safety tips for parents
• Autumn. Advice and advice for parents in the autumn
• Fear, childhood fears, anxiety. Advice for parents
• Sleep, sleep mode, put the child to sleep. Advice for parents
• What a child should know and be able to do. Advice for parents
• Physical education, exercise, sports. Advice for parents
• Winter. Winter advice for parents

Showing posts 1-10 of 21341 .
All sections | Advice for parents

Consultation for parents "Wrong approach to raising a child" Don't make a child idol: when he grows up, he will require sacrifices. P. Buast How often there are families with a small god at the head. Families in which the child and his interests occupy all the free space. Of course, the period of infancy, the period of breastfeeding is not taken into account ...

Consultation for parents "How to teach children to work in a notebook in a cage" “Write different letters with a thin pen in a notebook” are taught not only in school. Now teachers want to get first-graders who already know how to do almost everything. Let's help our preschoolers come to the first grade prepared and self-confident. To do this, stock up on patience, time, a notebook ...

Advice for parents - Advice for parents "If the child does not obey: 8 receptions"

Publication "Counseling for parents" If the child does not obey: 8 ... " The child is not listening. Does not want to get dressed, put away his toys, delays doing homework, or comes back later than you said. At the same time, it behaves in the best way: screams and cries, or, “huffed”, refuses to talk to you ... What should I do? Of course I would like...

Advice for parents "On family singing" About family singing… Just don’t say that you don’t have a voice or hearing… One lady thinks that she also has problems with this, but that didn’t stop her from finishing music school. Further, the story will be conducted on her behalf, however, we are not talking about solfeggio lessons, not about school, but about the fact that ...

At preschool age, the most important is: protecting the life of the child, strengthening his health, improving the functions of the body, promoting his proper physical development and hardening. Summer is coming! Many families go to summer cottages and get closer to nature. Dear Parents!...

Difficulties with dressing a child arise in every family. The reasons may be different: from the baby’s natural inability to dress or from the parents’ impatience to wait for him to get dressed. The child will always seem small to the parents. In an effort to protect him from difficulties, ...

Consultations for parents - Consultation for parents and educators "What a child should be able to do at 3-4 years old"

Pediatricians note that the development of each child occurs "according to an individual program." His skills are improving every day, and parents are surprised to note all the new achievements of their baby. But still, there are certain norms of development at any age, including ...

Consultation for parents "Undeservedly forgotten family reading" UNDESERVEDLY FORGOTTEN FAMILY READING How many families practice family reading today? Adults are so busy with their own affairs, their own interests, that such a concept as family reading is becoming almost archaic. Of course, you can always find explanations for this: ...

Consultation for parents "Labor education in the family" Report on the topic: "Labor education in the family" Labor education is an important tool comprehensive development child's personality. Diligence is not given by nature, but must be brought up from early childhood. The main purpose of labor is its influence on the personality of the child. Reasonable...

Advice for parents "Safety rules with open windows"“My home is my castle,” goes the well-known proverb. We, adults, love to use it often, and often forget that many dangers await us in our house. Bewitched by the peaceful word “home”, we do not think about danger and therefore often neglect the most ...

The family for the child is a source of social experience, an example to follow. In order to raise a morally healthy person, it is necessary to combine the efforts of parents, the knowledge and experience of educators, the expectation and ideas of the public. main goal preschool help the family raise a child, ensure favorable socialization.

Types of consultations

Work with parents is carried out both on a personal level in an individual conversation (in the form of frontal and individual work), and take the form of visual-educational information.

One of the most common ways of counseling parents is visual information in the form of travel folders, stands, newspapers. Since the parent, due to their busyness, does not always have time to communicate with the teacher personally, it is more convenient for him to devote 3-5 minutes to reading the information block.

The stands and folders designed by the teachers of the group are visual propaganda, which is aimed at familiarizing parents with the content, methods of education in the preschool educational institution, and providing practical assistance to the baby in the family. The content and topics are determined by the wishes of the parents or at the discretion of the teachers.

USEFUL INTERNET RESOURCES FOR PARENTS OF PRESCHOOL CHILDREN.

The most interesting and popular sites for parents and their children that will help you find answers to all your questions, make life interesting and informative.

"Preschooler"
www.kindereducation.com

An electronic magazine for children and parents, on the pages of which materials for teaching, educating and entertaining children of preschool and primary school age are published, collected by thematic sections: speech development, fun counting, art studio, psychology, games and competitions, be healthy. On the site you can also subscribe to the newsletter "100 educational and educational games for children."

"Sun"
www.solnet.ee

Daily informative and entertaining portal for children, parents and teachers. Contests and quizzes, virtual school for toddlers, games and cartoons, early learning methods, advice from children's specialists, holiday scenarios, parenting experience, virtual postcard mailing service.

preschooler
doshkolnik.ru

This site is for families, for fathers, mothers and children. A site about how to raise a child, how to learn to find with him mutual language. A lot of interesting information for children: fairy tales, poems, smart puzzles, educational articles. The site also presents a large collection of scripts - for school and for various holidays.

Kindergarten.ru
www.detskiysad.ru

Information and review resource, on the pages of which you can find information about physical development children, about the basics of children's hygiene, about the importance of children's games in educational process, about the labor education of the child, about the organization of holiday matinees in kindergarten, about some childhood diseases and much more.

Basket of fairy tales
www.lukoshko.net

The site offers fairy tales, poems and stories for children. Russians can be found here folk tales and fairy tales of other peoples, stories about animals, poems and songs for children.

Dear our readers, subscribers and parents of our pupils! And also the parents of our future students! The staff of our Personality Development Center "Alisa" with great pleasure returns to you after a break to wish you a wonderful, eventful, sunny summer and tell you about the changes our Center "Alisa" is waiting for in the next academic year.

The term " early development"Today it is so hackneyed and discredited, overgrown with so many prejudices that it is already a little scary to use it. 'Cause he gets a reaction too often like “Oh my God, why deprive children of their childhood, leave them alone, let them grow up - in our time there are no “developmental” cattle - and nothing, they somehow grew up ...” etc. Surely you have heard this opinion more than once. And, alas, there was every reason for its occurrence. Even at the dawn of the emergence of alternative versions of pedagogy in Russia, some unfortunate teachers really invested in this concept something completely inorganic and unnatural. Indeed, what is the use of the fact that a child already knows letters at the age of one, or knows how to count?

We, Montessori teachers, are completely in solidarity with the opinion that a child should have a childhood, and that there is absolutely no point in stuffing him with some completely abstract knowledge from the cradle. In the Montessori system, the concept of “early development” is given a completely different meaning. Let's talk about it today.

Montessori Spring is an annual festival in Moscow, organized by the Interregional Montessori Association and the International Institute of Montessori Pedagogy. This event unites all Montessori teachers in Russia, and the entire professional community is always looking forward to it. For us, the staff of the Alisa Personality Development Center, Montessori spring is always pleasant and interesting meetings with colleagues in a warm and friendly atmosphere. We really like to be among professionals and masters of their craft, to meet new interesting people who are sincerely passionate about what they do. However, first of all, Montessori Spring is an exchange of experience and information about the emergence of new materials, methods and technologies, without which it is impossible to move forward.

Children at the difficult age of 2-3 years old come to us in the Toddler Group and the Senior Group: at this age, children form a new perception of themselves and their place in the world around them. They already have much more autonomy than in the first two years of life, they begin to realize themselves separately from their mother and they need more independence. But often parents are not ready for this, and do not understand what is happening, perceiving this stage and its accompanying manifestations as “whims”, which leads to conflicts and difficulties in relations with the child, and often entails more difficult situations for him. development consequences.

I would really like parents to learn as much as possible about the age-related crises that they will have to go through with their child: this will help them prepare for difficulties and overcome them more easily. On the Open Day, which will be held on April 20, 2019 in our senior group, I will read free lecture For everyone on the topic "Crisis 3 years", and today I’ll tell you in general terms about what age-related crises generally happen in the period from birth to adolescence.

We have great news: starting this year, our group “Together with Mom (0-3)” has a psychological and pedagogical orientation - our teacher Aliya Mitruzaeva received a psychological education and now not only teaches Montessori classes in the 0-3 group, but also advises parents on building healthy and harmonious relations with child.

The Montessori system is known for its unconventional approach to teaching reading: in our usual learning model, we first learn the alphabet - letters in order or out of order, then we learn to put them into syllables, and syllables into words; further - from the words we “collect” simple sentences, and only after that we learn to write letters. In Montessori, everything is exactly the opposite! How? Read our article today.

The long-awaited spring has finally come: the time of wonderful holidays, warm days, sun rays and blue skies! Congratulations to everyone who celebrates March 8, and we are happy to join those who celebrate Maslenitsa - the traditional Russian holiday of farewell to winter. And again, today we want to talk about the fact that a holiday is not just a day off, gifts, or some other familiar social rituals. First of all, this is the best time to spend with your children in the family circle. In today's article, we will tell you how we celebrate Maslenitsa in our Alisa center, and at the same time we will talk about how you can spend time with children at home with benefit and pleasure.

Montessori is a well-known system of development and education. Widespread fame often entails the emergence of all sorts of myths, which, on the one hand, contribute to the popularization of the approach, and on the other hand, often form a misconception about it and discredit it. I often have to deal with some prejudices regarding the Montessori approach, and some of these prejudices, which I have to face most often, I will describe in today's article.

Faced such a problem. Some parents teach children to be quiet, so that at home (and on the street too, and in public places - in a word, everywhere and always) they don’t scream, behave quietly, don’t rustle and make noise, it’s better - they don’t make any sounds at all. I have some doubts about the correctness and usefulness of such a habit for a child, and I will be glad to talk to you about this today.

I very often have to deal with such an unpleasant thing as adults devaluing children's achievements, the results of their work and some other actions. An adult, from the height of his experience, gives children's achievements an assessment: of course, a low one, since in his adult world there are those who do it better. The most painful type of comparison for a child is comparison with others: “Look how well Petya did! And what a mess you have…” however, a father’s or mother’s careless assessment may be enough to injure the baby and for a long time discourage him from trying to do anything at all: because he will always lose to adults, whose only merit is that they were born earlier and earlier he learned to do something.

The Montessori system in our country, to the great regret of Montessori teachers and parents of our children, is not state-owned, and is very different from the educational system that then awaits our children in a regular school. There is a myth that Montessori children in an ordinary school become uncontrollable: they do not obey teachers, are undisciplined, behave as they are used to in a Montessori class, that is, they move freely around the class during classes, etc. This is not entirely true. More precisely, not at all.

Sometimes, when I look at our children in a group, it seems to me that if all people were brought up according to the Montessori system, the world that surrounds us would be full of interesting, creative people with a non-standard approach to solving any problems, with a rich imagination, full of interest in life and experiments with it, without fears and prejudices, full of readiness to help others… But when I leave the premises of our Alisa Center, I see a completely different world….

Sneak child. What to do?

It is unlikely that there is a person who has never heard the children's teaser "Sneak, snag, pickle ...". As a rule, sneaks are those who talk about the actions or words of their comrades, which the latter would prefer to keep secret. When a child shares information with adults that “Tanya doesn’t give a doll” or “Artem doesn’t allow me to play with a ball,” he is immediately answered that it’s bad to tell a story.

Is it really? What is hidden behind these children's denunciations? Let's consider not the consequence, but the cause, which stands at the origins.

A child under the age of three is not yet able to predict the consequences of his words. Therefore, it is basically pointless for him to lecture on the topic of "sneak". Due to the lack of social experience, the child still cannot comprehend the positive or negative meaning of his act and assigns a rating to his actions according to the reaction of adults. If mom praised - it means you did a good job, scolded - you did something wrong.

A three-year-old child is not yet snitching. He just tries to comment on what he sees in his own words.

The best reaction in this case would be to switch his attention to another subject. Distract the baby. “Vika doesn’t do homework, but looks out the window? And what were you doing? Please tell me…” If you listen to the baby and punish Vika, you will give him a powerful tool for the future, which he will always resort to in order to resolve the conflict in his favor.

Sometimes a child comes to you and complains that one of the children does not give him a toy. In this case, it is also not a snitch. He just hopes for your help, more than for his own strength. He is looking for a hint from you, how he should do the right thing in this case.

A child aged 3-5 years, talking about the actions of other children, also does not have the goal of “informing” on another. He just shares his emotions, feelings, impressions. Since at this age he is actively involved in the social environment, in other words, he is socialized, it is important for him to understand for himself: whether a comrade acted well or still badly when he deceived the teacher or offended his sister. In this way, a preschooler builds a model of behavior for himself, based on someone else's experience. Therefore, he cites disturbing examples from someone else's life. It is important for him to know what adults think about such and such an act and how they evaluate it.

Accordingly, listen to your child and do not stop his story with the words "stop talking." Having received a rebuff to his frankness several times, the baby may withdraw into himself and never again share his experiences with you. It is better to listen to him and help to understand the behavior of his friend. Tell me if you can do it or not and explain why.

A child of primary school age at the simplest level has already mastered the norms and rules of behavior and knows how to focus on them. He can predict the adult's reaction to his words or actions. And having imagined this reaction, he decides whether or not to touch on this topic in communication with adults. If the parents forbid "talking", do not delve into the situation, then the child, respectively, will not touch upon such things in the conversation. But this does not mean at all that they will stop worrying him. He will seek answers to his questions. Only here who? If the parents are useless, the teacher is scared, then who can you turn to? And this question will become especially relevant in adolescence. When the answer to it will be given by "street authority" and will organize the upbringing of your child, focusing on their own worldview.

Therefore, before assigning the child the label "Sneak", understand the situation. Review it with your child. Teach your baby to the algorithm of your reasoning, so that later he can, relying on them, build his own. After all, snitching is a means to achieve the desired, a kind of tactic that allows you to achieve the goal and satisfy the need for security, authority, approval, etc. And this need is well founded. Only the tactics chosen are wrong. Therefore, directing the child along a different path that will also help satisfy this need is the task of adults.

For example, if a child seeks to become a leader through "denunciations", help him express himself in a different way. Help him recognize his strengths, which will help him gain authority among his peers. He draws, knows how to read expressively - create a situation in which these qualities will most clearly manifest themselves and by this he will lower the respect of his comrades.

If he is sneaky because of a feeling of jealousy, when, in his opinion, the younger brother / sister gets more attention than him, then try to “look” at your relationship with him through his eyes and restore the “justice” he needs.

Always take the time to listen not only to what the child is saying, but also to what the child wants to say.

And real sneaks are people who enjoy when their words served as a pretext for punishing another.

Preview:

parent lies

Parents often lie to their children. Some do it all the time, some occasionally. Only a few adhere to the truth in principle and generally try not to lie to children.

There are several reasons why parents lie to their children:

1. Parents lie speculatively, pursuing some profitable goal of their own (“Vanya, let’s go home, your grandmother is already waiting for you there, she brought a gift” - mom is just tired of walking or wants to go to the toilet, “Don’t worry, I’ll come soon” - the parent is different can't get rid of the baby)
2. An affectionate lie praising the child (“Vanya, what a big boy you are already!”, “You are already strong like dad!”, “You are already smart and beautiful like mom!”, “You are already stronger than your older brother!”, the parent wants in his own words to make the child feel good, the “cheap and cheerful” method),
3. Inspiring lies (“The wound has already healed, now there is no danger”, “Very well, you are already on the mend”, “The salad is actually very tasty”, “It is very interesting to study at school”, “Only girls cry” - the lie is aimed at change in attitude towards something and, accordingly, behavior),
4. Soothing lies (“Don’t worry, mom will come soon”, “Don’t be afraid, the dog won’t attack you, she came and apologized”, “Now she will fly Kind fairy and tell you a story"
5. Ethical lies (for example, when asked where children come from, mom answers that a stork brings them, and when asked why dad was put in jail, he has many enemies), in such cases, parents believe that telling the truth just immoral.

There are two main effects of parental lies:

Over time, the child begins to believe the parent less and less, up to the complete denial of everything that is told to him,

The child gets used to the fact that there is a “good lie” and begins to lie to himself (“This dog will not attack me, she has kind eyes, and she smiles”, “Nothing will happen to me in the dark, my bear will drive everyone away” ), and this habit can become a stable character trait.

Man is a rational being, and the basis of rationality is the desire for truth, regardless of whether it is pleasant or not. It is difficult to hope that quite reasonable children will grow up in "lying families". And besides, one, single lie can upset the relationship between the child and the parent for a very long time. To never be manipulated own child, it is enough just to accustom him to discipline. And in order not to answer unpleasant questions, it is quite enough to accustom to answers like “I don’t want to answer your question” or even “Grow up - you will find out for yourself».

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HOW TO TEACH A CHILD TO HEAR AND OBEY (practical advice)

"Seven Steps"

Step 1. Teach your child to do your tasks, starting with what he wants to do himself. Nikita loves to clap her hands. “How does Nikita clap her hands? - Clever, Nikita! And now, Nikita, show me how the car hums! - Wonderful!" You teach him to do what you tell him to. He is learning to listen to you.

Step 2 Teach your child to fulfill your requests, reinforcing it with joy. If you call a child, he should come to you. And even better - to resort, and immediately. Start with situations where the child will come running to you with pleasure, and you will either give him something tasty, or you will hug him and stroke his head, or at least play with him for a minute. Soon start calling, but without tasty. But if called, he must come. It doesn’t go right away - they repeated it, but they achieved it. They drew his attention and asked him to come when his mother calls. Do not swear, but say: “When mom calls, you need to come right away!” - And kiss!

Step 3 . Do your business without reacting to the child - in those cases when you yourself are sure that you are right and you know that everyone will support you. You all rush to the train, collect things. In this case, the whims of the child "Well, play with me!" will be easily ignored by everyone, including grandmothers. Teach your child that there are things that are important. Teach your child to say, "This is important." If you sat down in front of him and, looking into his eyes, holding his shoulders, calmly and firmly say: “Adults now need to get together, and we will play with you later. It is important!" - then soon the child will begin to understand you. It is important!

Step 4 Require a minimum. The child has already grown up enough to ... In order not to take away a toy from someone else's child, to pick up a fallen mitten yourself, to put porridge in your mouth on your own ... - Always look for those moments when your demands will be supported by everyone around you, so that even grandmothers would at least keep silent. If your requirements for a child are too much, he does not keep up with your numerous requirements, or you do not have the support of others - remove your requests and requirements for now, do what you want from the child - yourself.

Step 5 Give assignments with confidence. Let the child do it when it is not difficult for him, or even more so when he wants to. Make sure that the child always has things to do at your request. The child should not fade away the understanding that he has tasks, and he must do it. Make up your bed, take a cup with you, wash the dishes, run to the store - most likely, it’s easier and cheaper for you to do it yourself, but you are a teacher, so your task is to restrain yourself, not to do it yourself and entrust it to your child every time .

Step 6 . Give difficult and independent tasks. Gradually move on to more difficult and independent tasks, mostly against the most positive background, with small irregular reinforcements and occasional large ones.

Step 7 To do, and then come and show (or report). When a child has already learned this, you can be proud - you already have an adult in front of you. You have raised an adult, responsible person!

Preview:

How to help your child talk

The child is "talkative" at this age exactly as much as you encourage him to do so. In the future, his ability to speak well will determine the degree of his readiness to learn a variety of things. Therefore, an important task of parents is to support such a “conversation” that will stimulate the development of the child.

Tell your child what you do when you care for him. As you undress him, name the clothes you removed from him as parts of the body. When you bathe him, say that you are soaping him or what item you want to take. When feeding a child, tell him what the dish is made of, what he will get more. Speak normally without oversimplifying. At this stage of development, the child needs your smooth, interesting-sounding speech. If you deliberately begin to speak slowly and simply, if you try to speak clearly for the baby, your speech will become unnatural. A child will respond with equal joy both to your maxim about the development of events in the world, and to a well-thought-out simple sentence about a dog. If you like the "childish" way of speaking - well, use it. If she disgusts you - do not resort to her.

Show your child picture books, name the objects drawn there, and explain to him as you would explain to a three-year-old child what these objects do. The child will enjoy the drawings and talking about them, although he will not understand what you are explaining.

Be sure to talk to your child while playing. This is very important, especially if you feel awkward when you have to talk to your baby in front of others. Sometimes the baby lacks communication with you, because you prefer to talk with the older child - he is more understanding, reacts much better to your words.

The most important thing is to listen to the child and try to answer him, and to answer intelligibly, in words, and moreover, whenever the child begins to babble, "addressing" you. Remember that the child now needs not comments along the way, not a monologue, no matter how well you build it, he needs to talk to you. Suppose you do not know how to start a conversation yourself, it is difficult for you to find a topic - in any case, force yourself to answer the child when he himself makes attempts to “talk” to you.

Preview:

Theft in preschool age

Theft as a phenomenon in preschool age has its own specific features. They relate primarily to motives and causes.

Unlike teenagers, among preschoolers there are practically no so-called “prestige thefts”, when a child is urged on by peers, arguing the need to commit theft by maintaining status in a group or, in other words, “on a bet”. Group thefts are also uncharacteristic for preschool children.

Among motives that push preschoolers to steal , several groups can be distinguished:

1. The desire to own something (most often a toy);

2.Desire to do nice gift someone close;

3. The desire to draw the attention of peers to oneself as the owner of any object or thing;

4. Desire to take revenge on someone.

All of the above groups of motives do not have a criminal background.

Most often among preschoolers there are thefts motivated by the desire to take possession of something belonging to another person. The child sees a new toy from a peer, which he has long dreamed of, and, taking advantage of the moment, he hides it or takes it away. The reason for this behavior lies in the peculiarities of the preschooler's consciousness: for him, the concepts of "mine", "yours", "property", "alien" are abstract and inaccessible. It is these concepts that are comprehended by the child through communication with adults, through the acquisition of experience in Everyday life. It is the adult who reveals their meaning and content.

The second group of motives (the desire to make a gift to someone close) is also associated with a lack of understandingnegative assessment of thefts among preschoolers.

The child strives in one way or another to please his loved ones.

The third and fourth groups of motives are typical for children of older preschool age on the border with younger school age. These motives, albeit with a negative connotation, can be attributed to social ones. At the age of 6-7, children are no longer indifferent to their place in the peer group, and they are able to purposefully achieve what they want, choosing available methods for this. The same applies to the desire to take revenge on someone, which can manifest itself both in wrecking (that is, stealing from someone who offended), and in the desire to cause trouble to loved ones. In the second case, the child already understands well what he is doing and why he is doing it.

Adults are often surprised and angry by the illogicality of the actions of children, including theft. “Why take something if you know in advance that you will be caught?” they wonder. But they forget that preschool children have such psychological features which, from the point of view of adults, push children to illogical acts.

Those features are:

Impulsiveness, susceptibility to momentary impulses due to the underdevelopment of arbitrary conscious control of behavior;

The underdevelopment of the prognostic function, i.e., the inability to emotionally anticipate the consequences of one's own actions;

The narrowness of the conceptual apparatus, the difficulty of understanding abstract concepts;

Awareness of one's existence "here-and-now", misunderstanding of time perspectives.

Taking into account these features of age is necessary when organizing work with preschoolers. However, it is important to remember that such a phenomenon as theft is based on personality disorders and deformed interpersonal relationships, especially family ones.

There was an erroneous opinion that theft is inherent in children from dysfunctional families. But the current situation is such that theft is also observed in children from so-called prosperous families. In both the first and second cases, theft of children is the consequences wrong upbringing. In dysfunctional families, the asocial nature of the parents themselves (drunkenness, assault, etc.) pushes children to steal, low material wealth is the main stimulant. The situation is more complicated in outwardly prosperous families, in which the level of material security is sufficient and a lot of time is devoted to raising children. But the question is not in quantity, but in the quality of educational influences. There are a number of mistakes made by adults in the process of education:

Lack of consistency in upbringing, when in one situation a child can be punished, and in another - “close their eyes” to a misconduct, and the threat of punishment does not follow;

Inconsistency in the requirements of adults for the child; this situation is typical for families with grandparents, but often it also occurs in families with only mom and dad, who
they cannot agree among themselves when the same action of the child is evaluated differently;

- "double morality", when the actions of parents disagree with the case;

Permissiveness, which may be the result of neglect, upbringing in the style of "family idol", substitution of communication with material support;

Total control over the behavior and actions of the child.

Despite the apparent polarity of parental mistakes, all of them deprive the child of the opportunity to form as a full-fledged personality, following the norms of morality in their actions. The inconsistency of parents in upbringing stimulates the child to opportunism, develops dependence on the mood of others. The child learns to manipulate the opinions of adults, knowing their weaknesses. The same applies to the lack of consistency in the requirements for the child. The unwillingness or inability of adults to agree among themselves leads to open or hidden conflicts that neuroticize both their direct participants and involuntary ones, which are most often children. In such families, children often stop listening to any of the adults at all.

Following the desire to observe external propriety, some parents defiantly instill in their children that “you can’t take someone else’s”, while at the same time bringing something that is not lying well from work. The child, sincerely believing in the authority and infallibility of his parents, follows their example and for a long time cannot understand why he is scolded if he does the same thing as mom and dad.

The inability or unwillingness of parents to stop negative manifestations of personality or character stimulates the development of permissiveness, when the child does not know how or does not want to reckon with the opinions of others, focusing only on his own desires and interests. Such children, getting into a group of peers, continue to behave in the same way as in the family, but very quickly receive “feedback” from children - they do not want to communicate with them, they become the cause of quarrels and conflicts. They sincerely do not understand why they cannot take what they want, even if this toy belongs to someone else. And parents begin to accuse other children of having a detrimental effect on their "wonder child."

Another extreme - the desire of parents to control every step of their child - affects the development of personality no less detrimental. Some children take an active "defensive" position, constantly showing stubbornness and entering into bickering on every occasion. And others "go underground", continuing to commit actions condemned by adults, but already at those moments when they are not paid attention to. This contributes to the development of deceit, double morality.

In each of the above situations, the child's personality is deformed under the influence of improper upbringing. Therefore, one of the first steps of a psychologist on the way of helping a child convicted of stealing should be to identify the causes and motives of the misconduct, as well as to clarify the features family education. If during the diagnostics violations in the system of education and in the relationship between parents and the child are revealed, the main emphasis should be on working with parents, to whose consciousness it is necessary to convey true reason theft, explain age features preschool children. Often the first reaction of adults is denial and an expressed desire to take drastic (usually spanking) measures, as well as a negative change in attitude towards the child.

The psychologist, accepting and understanding the feelings of the parents, should strive to set them up for consistent work related to changing the style of communication with the child. It is also important to teach them how to adequately respond to the fact of theft.

First of all, clearly express a negative assessment of the child's actions (we emphasize, actions, not personality) with a specific ban on theft. Here it is necessary to talk about the consequences of such an act in terms of the experiences and feelings of a person who has lost his beloved thing. It is also necessary to put the child in the position of this person, to ask how the child himself would feel. The child must clearly learn that theft in any manifestation and for any purpose is condemned by both parents and other people. To summarize, the formula “you can’t steal, stealing is bad” should be well understood and accepted by the child.

But before starting a conversation, parents need to pull themselves together, try to cope with the anger that has gripped them, so as not to bring down their negative emotions on the child's head.

The overall strategy of parental behavior will depend on the reasons that the specialist should help identify. But in any case, the appearance of such an alarming signal as theft indicates a lack of affection and attention from the parents to the child. If, after the work done, the child continues unreasonable and constant theft, there is a need to contact a neuropsychiatrist.